Thursday, May 31, 2007

This week's struggle...

My DOM card for this week is a struggle. The theme is your redeeming qualities/qualities you aspire towards. That is a difficult theme for me.

First, I don't often focus on my redeeming qualities. I'm usually focused on what I should be doing or how I can be better. Either personally or in the activities I do. And since I think that my best can always be improved upon I'm always striving for better. I guess that's the curse of perfectionism.

So I don't know if I can think of what my redeeming qualities are without having a qualifier. For instance, I think I'm funny (don't we all!) but I'm sarcastic too so this can be hurtful to people who are sensitive. So funny/try to be less sarcastic.

And I've been thinking a lot lately about my inability to lose the rest of my pregnancy weight. Which leads me to think about the way I think and the self talk I engage in. Basically I wouldn't talk to anyone the way I talk to myself. I wouldn't expect the same things from others that I expect from myself. Why do I expect perfection from myself and not others? Because it's not attainable. And I know that. It's not for anyone. Not even me. No matter how hard I try.

Perfectionists banded together in a group are the worst. I was in a cohort of them for grad school. Mostly perfectionists. And the ones who were, were women. The men not so much. We had a reputation. Professors would come to the first class KNOWING about us! In one class I was 2 points away from a perfect score for the class. I was hoping to make up the 2 points so I could perhaps get an A+ to make up for an A- I had gotten in another class so my average would be closer to a 4.0. It didn't work out that way. I think I graduated with a 3.7 GPA. But I don't remember. And that's the thing. It doesn't matter!

So I'm embarking on another Weight Loss Challenge! I'm going to try to be easier on myself. I'm going to write a plan so I can be successful rather than setting myself up for failure. I wouldn't set someone else up to fail, so why do I do it to myself?

5 comments:

Miranda said...

Maybe we set our own goals to high with out knowing it..We grew up thinking we could be anything or do anything we wanted, we always had support and a cheerleader. When you are an adult its different. You wouldn't do it to others because you don't want to hurt them or make them feel bad if they fail, because you know that failing is part of life, something that happens. But when we set goals for ourselves, we don't think of it the same way, because you can do anything you want. Somehow the "failure" part gets left out. Give yourself a break for once. Be your own friend. When you want to be negative think to yourself "what would I tell my friend?"

toners said...

Your struggle is one I can totally relate to...I wonder where it comes from? Don't be too hard on yourself though. :)

BonnieRose said...

great post Heather, very insightful.
yes negative selftalk is the worst.
for sure.. I'm rooting for ya! hugs

Kelly C said...

Awesome post! I think it's tough for most of us to think of where we are stronger...

Lynn said...

I think most of us (women) tend to harder on ourselves than others. We are sure that the goal (to high at times) is attainable even when it is surely is not. No one could possibly met the goal we set in the time we want it to be set. I've had to learn the hard way that you need to take baby steps. Set small goals and continue from there. Thats what I'm trying to do now. Good luck. And think positive!