Thursday Thunks 10/22...

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by

Kimber, the number 70, and the color mellow.

1. If you were to start a meme (or a second or third), what would you call it and what day would you pick? I would pick Wednesday and I would call it time wasters for Wednesday.

2. When a celebrity endorses a product, do you really believe they like it/use it? Depends on the celebrity. But most of the time no, not really.

3. Why don't zombies ever just eat each other? I don't know and where did Zombies come from anyway!?

4. If you were an elephant, would you rather roam free or be in a zoo? I think I would rather roam free as God intended.

5. The doorbell rings on October 31st, do you answer it? Only after dinner and before bed time. After that, no. Unless it's the police and they've announced themselves.

6. If you see a piece of paper on the ground while out & about, do you pick it up? Probably. If there is a trash can near by. And it's not super dirty and gross. I hate litter and try to pick it up if I can. If so, do you look to see what it is? Sometimes.

7. If Jon Gosselin and Octomom got married and then their own reality show, do you think she would try to get pregnant again for better ratings? I think she'd try to get pregnant again if the opportunity presented itself even if Jon Gosselin weren't involved. That woman scares me.

8. If Thursday Thunks was to be put on hold or quit completely, would you be sad? Yes. Why, is this leading up to something? Are the Thursday Thunkers thunked out?

Regret...

I am not a person with much regret. I guess I really don't believe in it. I tend to see myself as more optimistic than pessimistic and more hopeful than not. I try to learn from my mistakes and grow from them and make the choices that I think are best at the time. But sometimes one cannot live without at least a few regrets.

One of my most recent ones is not recording the voice message Nikki left for Owen on his birthday. She called him on his birthday from the hospital, her first stay, and left a lovely message wishing him a happy birthday. I kept the message on as long as I could but one day it came to expire and I let Morgan erase it. At the time I felt a twinge of regret but I believed in my heart that she would be here for his next birthday and many more. Unfortunately that isn't how it has worked out. And often I hear her voice in the message. The sweetness in the way she talked to him. She loved Owen and he loved her. And I so wish I had taken the time to record it on a tape so he could hear it someday. It was not the last time I talked to her but it seems to be what I keep coming back to when I think of her voice.

A couple weeks ago I started a post about her. One that started writing itself in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. But when I sat down to write it it just didn't come out the way it had written itself in my mind. So bit by bit in a post here and there things will trickle out. Memories. Moments. Bits and pieces of how we loved her and our friendship. And how terribly much we miss her. And will always miss her.

Right now...

I haven't posted in quite awhile. Lots of things have happened or have been happening. So I thought I'd do an easy post about right now.

Morgan is baking chocolate donuts. It's an experiment. I love his baking experiments. Especially when it involves chocolate.

Owen is still talking to himself in his room. But he's in his room so I'm fine with it.

I'm anxious about the test results from my thyroid biopsy. The dr. said the results would be back mid week and they called today. It's Monday. I went in Friday. That's fast. And I wasn't home when they called and I didn't get the message until 5:45pm. I have to wait until tomorrow. Which may mean a sleepless night.

Or not, since I'm drinking a skinny pirate. My new drink. Which I discovered at Carrie's house where we held book club. We had rum and coke as a tribute to Nikki. We read The Boy in Striped Pajamas. It was her pick. Today we played at Carrie's house and she sent a 1/4 full bottle of Capt. Morgan home with me.

I need to do another test for the endocrinologist this week too. Which means another blood draw. But no needles in the neck. So I should be fine.

I exercised today. 20 minutes on the treadmill and level one of the 30 day shred. I didn't die. I can't believe I've gotten so fat and out of shape.

I miss Nikki a lot. Although I've gone several days without crying. There are often many moments during the day when I am overcome with the sense of loss that I won't be able to share something with her. Like the silly things that Owen does. Or a little gripe about something. Or something I'm irate about that I know she'd understand. I had expected to be much older when my close friends started dying. I'm also mad at God about the unfairness of her dying. But I'm okay with that. And I think he is too. Another wise friend told me it's okay to be mad at Him. He's big enough to take it. I hope so, because I might be mad for awhile.

Our Pastor's cancer has returned. He was diagnosed with lymphoma a year and a half ago or so. He went through all the treatment and a stem cell transplant. We was doing well. He went in for a check-up and they found it had returned. I'm tired of cancer and it's evils. I think it's something I wouldn't wish on the worst of people. It's horrible and destructive. Both to bodies and families. How is it that doctors and scientists can come up with so many amazing treatments and ideas but they can't find a cure for cancer. Or acne. How is that?

We are going to watch Pam and Jim's wedding tonight. Finally!

I love the show Glee. If I had been a more confident person in high school and there had been a show choir or glee club, I may have participated.

We had snow today. But it should all melt tomorrow. I was enjoying fall up until the snow. Owen looked out the garage today on the way to his school and said, "look, it's winter!"

My sewing machine and I are on the outs. Mostly it's my issue. I've got a bunch of items to finish up for the etsy shop and I am trying to use a new presser foot that is not easy to use!

I am doing a bigger family portrait session on Halloween morning.

Feeling a little blah right now in life. I dislike these periods a lot. But I've learned that I need to wait them out. Mostly. And just try to do the best I can while I am blah. Because it will pass. It always does.

Oh Friday...FINALLY!!!

1. One week ago it was Friday and we went to the Wild Game with Lisa & Joel.

2. Winter was longer, colder and snowier when I was young.

3. Mama told me having no manners is worse than having no money.

4. God bless you and me.

5. Take your time and do a good job at whatever you do.

6. Disequilibrium (in my preschooler) will pass!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to SCRAPPING, tomorrow my plans include SCRAPPING and Sunday, I will SCRAP SOME MORE!!!!

Have a great weekend. I will be scrapping!!

18 days...

Time flies! It's been 18 days since I posted last. I can't believe that. Granted I have not been good at a daily post for some time now but 18 days is a long time.

Owen is napping. It's a lazy Monday. I've got lots I should do around the house but am a bit overwhelmed by it. And unmotivated. Which is more of a problem. I can usually break things down and get them done. So the motivation is mostly the issue.

My friend Nikki is still on the healing roller coaster. She's been in the hospital for about 18 days. I think. I've lost track. We continue to pray for her healing. I have so many feelings and emotions about her and what is going on.

Summer is almost over. Officially anyway. Most people consider September part of the fall season. But the autumnal equinox is officially at 5:18pm (EDT) tomorrow. And I for one am happy for that! Summer, particularly the end, is my least favorite season. I love fall. We went apple picking yesterday and it was strange to be doing it while it was so warm. But we had an enjoyable time anyway.

I am getting ready this week for a scrapping retreat this weekend. I leave Friday afternoon and return Monday afternoon. I've got a bunch of layouts planned plus a mini album and some cards. Hoping for a very productive time away.

Health wise I am needing to make some changes. I decided in August to go off my anxiety medication. I was sleeping very poorly and having way too many vivid dreams. I'd also gained 20 pounds. Now I'm off the meds and sleeping better but of course the 20 pounds aren't going away without a fight. To be perfectly honest I feel completely helpless and hopeless about that. And unmotivated. I know what I need to do. I know how to do it. I just can't seem to put my confidence in my ability to achieve any goal that I set. Or motivate myself to try. Who I want to be, is not who I see in the mirror. I am frustrated with where I am and how I got here and how I let this happen. And continue to make poor choices day after day. And no one else can change it for me.

I have finally decided to start my own little photography and design business. You can visit my website HERE. It's proving to be an adventure but life isn't fun without them, now is it!?

Owen started preschool this month too. So far he's loving it. He goes two days a week. One day I'm in the building for the parent education part and the second day I just drop him off. I was a bit worried about the drop-off day but he did just fine! He is having a communication explosion right now too. He's saying all kinds of interesting and insightful things and his vocabulary is amazing to me. The other night he told me he heard a "creepy sound". We are working on manners daily. I want him to be bright and articulate but I really want him to be polite and well mannered. All the smarts in the world won't help a person out if they are unable to communicate in a polite and kind way.

9/3/09 Thursday Thunks...

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the number one thousand twenty six and the color of the dirt spot you need to wipe up on your kitchen floor.

1. Your thoughts on truck drivers? They are necessary and sometimes drive a bit crazy.

2. Did you hear Michelle Duggar is pregnant for the 15th time? (but that will be kid #19 if you lost count....) No, I didn't and I only know who she is because someone mentioned her the other day. I don't keep up on people who are crazy enough to have 19 kids. I have a hard enough time with one.

3. Have you ever done something to hurt someone intentionally... just for the sole purpose of hurting them because you thought they deserved it? Maybe a paybacks a bitch sort of thing? Nope. I may have thought about it a few times but I've not done it because I would feel bad about it later that I had intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Don't get me wrong. I can be mean but it's not to hurt someone.

4. Is there anyone in your life that when you go to their place of residence, you just walk in without bothering to knock? My mom's house. But I also announce that I'm there when I go in. Does anyone just walk into your house without knocking? Nope.

5. Whats in the trunk of your car? Do you even have a clue? Owen's stroller and a canvas shopping bag. And probably some sand. I haven't vacuumed it out for awhile.

6. When you go to a family holiday get together (such as Christmas or Thanksgiving), about how many people are there? Depends on which side of the family. If it's my side 6. If it's Morgan's side 13.

7. What is in your kitchen sink right at this very moment? Dishes that need to be washed.

8. You go to a store to buy an expensive item... say $150. You pick up that item and a couple other this n' thats. You get to the register and the expensive item rings up at $40. The cashier doesn't seem to notice and tells you your total. Do you go with what they say and pay it or do you question the price difference? You know you would question it if your $40 item rang up at $150.... Yes, I would tell them that the price is incorrect. I would feel bad about not saying something and the karma would eventually catch up with me.

9. Do you fold your underwear or do you just toss it in a drawer? I fold it and put it neatly in the drawer.

10. There is a Harley-Davidson giveaway. Chances are $100 and they are only selling 250 tickets. Do you buy one? No. I wouldn't spend $100 on a "chance" like that. Maybe if it were a house. But I'm also way to small to ride the average sized Harley and Morgan wouldn't let me keep it anyway!

11. Who is your favorite Disney character? Hmmm, I'm going to go with a non-traditional Disney character and say Buzz Lightyear.

12. It's September - most of the weekly sitcoms/dramas are starting new seasons again. Which one are you most looking forward to? The Office. Hands down. I might start out watching a couple others but will end the season still watching the office.

13. You are at a grocery store and are on your way out to your car with your cart full of grocery bags. On your way to your car you see a black kitten in an empty cart. What do you do? I don't know. If it's cold out I may go in and tell someone. If it's warm out I would go home. I can't bring animals home anymore!

14. Is there anything that you do for a hobby that you are asked to do for friends/family that most people would hire a professional to do? (example: cake decorating, fixing cars....) Yes, photography. And sewing. And card crafting. I'm a pretty handy person!

15. Are we there yet? Nope. Hopefully we all have a lot of years left.

8/26/09 Thursday Thunks...

1. Have you ever played Bullshit? Yes, I do believe I have. Although not for a very long time and I'm terrible at card games so I would have to be taught again.

2. A dog licks you on your face. Are you disgusted or thinking it was sweet? It depends on the dog. When Ludwig licks me I'm okay with it. He's a pretty dainty licker. Greyhounds are selective about who they lick. Not WHAT just who.

3. Tell us about a fun/special memory you have of a grandparent. For the first 3 1/2 years of my life we lived with my maternal grandparents. And my grandpa and I were very close. I have many, many special memories of him. He taught me to do all kinds of things. Hammer nails, play pool, card games, fish, drive a tractor, and a car. He was a very special man and I miss him everyday.

4. Have you ever pet a rat? Yes.

5. If I walked into your kitchen, where are the cups? In the cabinet to the right of the sink on the first shelf.

6. Since you already let me in your home, I found the cup and had water, now where's the bathroom from the kitchen? Depends on which way you go. But the fastest way is through the study, down the hall and the first door on the right. Watch out, it's pretty pink in there!

7. Have you ever pet a turtle or tortoise? Yes.