Thursday, October 18, 2007

Friendship...

BonnieRose posed this challenge today: Blog about friendship.. anything..
Blog about your thoughts on being a friend. a really good friend...

It's another dreary day here in MN and I don't have much else to write about so I thought I'd just run with BonnieRose's topic.

I maintain a fairly small number of friendships. At least I think I do. I know a lot of people but as for close friendships the number is small. Less than 10. One reason, it can be difficult to maintain friends. Just knowing someone doesn't make them a friend. I think friendship requires an investment on the part of the people involved. And different friends fulfill different purposes. Some friends have history. You've been through something with them. High school, college, grade school even. I have one friend from each of those stages in my life that I keep in touch with. Just one from each. And that is enough. Some friends are situational. Roommates, work friends, scrapbooking friends. I had three good friends in college that I lived with and did almost everything with at the time. But for various reasons I have not seen any of them for a long time. And I'm okay with that.

Friends also provide for us in some way. Support, advice, laughter. These are the things I get from my close friends. People I know I can go to and lean on when I need something. Anything. And I won't be judged or gossiped about or torn down, just listened to and accepted. This is the smallest group of people. A select few outside of my family.

Friendship requires give and take. You need to be able to listen more than you talk. For women especially. Women work things out by talking and complaining. Sometimes that's all we want. Not necessarily a solution to an issue but the opportunity to let it out. It's taken Morgan some time understand that. But he does a pretty good job of it.

Sometimes friendships fade. And that's okay. I'm not one to get wrapped up in someone else's drama. Those are the people who I usually need to let go of or distance myself from. First of all I have a short attention span. I don't stay mad long. I don't have a lot of drama in my life. I like to keep things simple. Uncomplicated. And I like to surround myself with those kinds of people. They tend to be happier and more fun. I've had to let friendships go because the other person just held on to too much. Drama, anger, resentment. Those things that are toxic to friendship. And those are the people who don't make good friends anyway and tend to have few friends or don't keep them very long. Unhappy people can't maintain good relationships when they don't have a good one with themselves.

I am not a person that can live without friends. I don't need a lot of them, but I do need them. I've known people who think they can survive without friends but I just disagree with that. Life is so much richer and fuller and more fun with friends!

11 comments:

Linda said...

I am like you, I know a lot of people but have very few close friends. Not sure why that is but it is all good and I am happy.

Colleen said...

What a wonderful idea for a post and so well said! I'm like you in that I don't have a ton of friends, but some very good ones!

Amy Solovay said...

Just thought I'd drop by and say "hi", and thank you for your nice comment on my blog post.

Those are some really great insights you posted about friendship. I have noticed the same thing RE women needing to talk things out sometimes without really seeking a solution. It's so true. Great post!

Kelly S. said...

what a great post. I def agree withyou!

Cricket said...

Well said! I am totally like you, I couldn't live with friends but I don't need a ton of them...

smiles,

Sherry said...

What a great blog. :) It seems that scrapbookers have a common personality.

Shirley Fyfe said...

I just wanted to thank-you for stopping by and for your lovely comments on my blog too!

I love your thoughts on friendship - thank so much for sharing . . .

toners said...

I am also one with very few close friends - I know sometimes I can be guarded and that's something I need to work on :) Great post!

Gabrielle Beck said...

Well said! I agree!

Friendships may be few but it's the quality not the quanity.

Gabrielle from 2Peas :)

Lynn said...

Great post Heather! I am with you on this whole friendship thing. I have just a handful (if that) of very close friends, I don't need more than that. I'm very happy with that.

Noelia said...

I totally agree with everything you said on this post. I also noticed that in my life, the older I grow, the less friends I have. I guess over the years, I've become selective of the kinds of friendships that I invest in. I rather have just a few good quality and healthy friendships than having friends all over the place that I can barely keep up with!