Thursday Thunks 10/22...

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by

Kimber, the number 70, and the color mellow.

1. If you were to start a meme (or a second or third), what would you call it and what day would you pick? I would pick Wednesday and I would call it time wasters for Wednesday.

2. When a celebrity endorses a product, do you really believe they like it/use it? Depends on the celebrity. But most of the time no, not really.

3. Why don't zombies ever just eat each other? I don't know and where did Zombies come from anyway!?

4. If you were an elephant, would you rather roam free or be in a zoo? I think I would rather roam free as God intended.

5. The doorbell rings on October 31st, do you answer it? Only after dinner and before bed time. After that, no. Unless it's the police and they've announced themselves.

6. If you see a piece of paper on the ground while out & about, do you pick it up? Probably. If there is a trash can near by. And it's not super dirty and gross. I hate litter and try to pick it up if I can. If so, do you look to see what it is? Sometimes.

7. If Jon Gosselin and Octomom got married and then their own reality show, do you think she would try to get pregnant again for better ratings? I think she'd try to get pregnant again if the opportunity presented itself even if Jon Gosselin weren't involved. That woman scares me.

8. If Thursday Thunks was to be put on hold or quit completely, would you be sad? Yes. Why, is this leading up to something? Are the Thursday Thunkers thunked out?

Regret...

I am not a person with much regret. I guess I really don't believe in it. I tend to see myself as more optimistic than pessimistic and more hopeful than not. I try to learn from my mistakes and grow from them and make the choices that I think are best at the time. But sometimes one cannot live without at least a few regrets.

One of my most recent ones is not recording the voice message Nikki left for Owen on his birthday. She called him on his birthday from the hospital, her first stay, and left a lovely message wishing him a happy birthday. I kept the message on as long as I could but one day it came to expire and I let Morgan erase it. At the time I felt a twinge of regret but I believed in my heart that she would be here for his next birthday and many more. Unfortunately that isn't how it has worked out. And often I hear her voice in the message. The sweetness in the way she talked to him. She loved Owen and he loved her. And I so wish I had taken the time to record it on a tape so he could hear it someday. It was not the last time I talked to her but it seems to be what I keep coming back to when I think of her voice.

A couple weeks ago I started a post about her. One that started writing itself in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. But when I sat down to write it it just didn't come out the way it had written itself in my mind. So bit by bit in a post here and there things will trickle out. Memories. Moments. Bits and pieces of how we loved her and our friendship. And how terribly much we miss her. And will always miss her.

Right now...

I haven't posted in quite awhile. Lots of things have happened or have been happening. So I thought I'd do an easy post about right now.

Morgan is baking chocolate donuts. It's an experiment. I love his baking experiments. Especially when it involves chocolate.

Owen is still talking to himself in his room. But he's in his room so I'm fine with it.

I'm anxious about the test results from my thyroid biopsy. The dr. said the results would be back mid week and they called today. It's Monday. I went in Friday. That's fast. And I wasn't home when they called and I didn't get the message until 5:45pm. I have to wait until tomorrow. Which may mean a sleepless night.

Or not, since I'm drinking a skinny pirate. My new drink. Which I discovered at Carrie's house where we held book club. We had rum and coke as a tribute to Nikki. We read The Boy in Striped Pajamas. It was her pick. Today we played at Carrie's house and she sent a 1/4 full bottle of Capt. Morgan home with me.

I need to do another test for the endocrinologist this week too. Which means another blood draw. But no needles in the neck. So I should be fine.

I exercised today. 20 minutes on the treadmill and level one of the 30 day shred. I didn't die. I can't believe I've gotten so fat and out of shape.

I miss Nikki a lot. Although I've gone several days without crying. There are often many moments during the day when I am overcome with the sense of loss that I won't be able to share something with her. Like the silly things that Owen does. Or a little gripe about something. Or something I'm irate about that I know she'd understand. I had expected to be much older when my close friends started dying. I'm also mad at God about the unfairness of her dying. But I'm okay with that. And I think he is too. Another wise friend told me it's okay to be mad at Him. He's big enough to take it. I hope so, because I might be mad for awhile.

Our Pastor's cancer has returned. He was diagnosed with lymphoma a year and a half ago or so. He went through all the treatment and a stem cell transplant. We was doing well. He went in for a check-up and they found it had returned. I'm tired of cancer and it's evils. I think it's something I wouldn't wish on the worst of people. It's horrible and destructive. Both to bodies and families. How is it that doctors and scientists can come up with so many amazing treatments and ideas but they can't find a cure for cancer. Or acne. How is that?

We are going to watch Pam and Jim's wedding tonight. Finally!

I love the show Glee. If I had been a more confident person in high school and there had been a show choir or glee club, I may have participated.

We had snow today. But it should all melt tomorrow. I was enjoying fall up until the snow. Owen looked out the garage today on the way to his school and said, "look, it's winter!"

My sewing machine and I are on the outs. Mostly it's my issue. I've got a bunch of items to finish up for the etsy shop and I am trying to use a new presser foot that is not easy to use!

I am doing a bigger family portrait session on Halloween morning.

Feeling a little blah right now in life. I dislike these periods a lot. But I've learned that I need to wait them out. Mostly. And just try to do the best I can while I am blah. Because it will pass. It always does.