Monday, September 21, 2009

18 days...

Time flies! It's been 18 days since I posted last. I can't believe that. Granted I have not been good at a daily post for some time now but 18 days is a long time.

Owen is napping. It's a lazy Monday. I've got lots I should do around the house but am a bit overwhelmed by it. And unmotivated. Which is more of a problem. I can usually break things down and get them done. So the motivation is mostly the issue.

My friend Nikki is still on the healing roller coaster. She's been in the hospital for about 18 days. I think. I've lost track. We continue to pray for her healing. I have so many feelings and emotions about her and what is going on.

Summer is almost over. Officially anyway. Most people consider September part of the fall season. But the autumnal equinox is officially at 5:18pm (EDT) tomorrow. And I for one am happy for that! Summer, particularly the end, is my least favorite season. I love fall. We went apple picking yesterday and it was strange to be doing it while it was so warm. But we had an enjoyable time anyway.

I am getting ready this week for a scrapping retreat this weekend. I leave Friday afternoon and return Monday afternoon. I've got a bunch of layouts planned plus a mini album and some cards. Hoping for a very productive time away.

Health wise I am needing to make some changes. I decided in August to go off my anxiety medication. I was sleeping very poorly and having way too many vivid dreams. I'd also gained 20 pounds. Now I'm off the meds and sleeping better but of course the 20 pounds aren't going away without a fight. To be perfectly honest I feel completely helpless and hopeless about that. And unmotivated. I know what I need to do. I know how to do it. I just can't seem to put my confidence in my ability to achieve any goal that I set. Or motivate myself to try. Who I want to be, is not who I see in the mirror. I am frustrated with where I am and how I got here and how I let this happen. And continue to make poor choices day after day. And no one else can change it for me.

I have finally decided to start my own little photography and design business. You can visit my website HERE. It's proving to be an adventure but life isn't fun without them, now is it!?

Owen started preschool this month too. So far he's loving it. He goes two days a week. One day I'm in the building for the parent education part and the second day I just drop him off. I was a bit worried about the drop-off day but he did just fine! He is having a communication explosion right now too. He's saying all kinds of interesting and insightful things and his vocabulary is amazing to me. The other night he told me he heard a "creepy sound". We are working on manners daily. I want him to be bright and articulate but I really want him to be polite and well mannered. All the smarts in the world won't help a person out if they are unable to communicate in a polite and kind way.


Miranda said...

If you want my 2 cents.. Maybe if there are too many things to change that it seems like you can't do them, 1. make a list of them. 2. Pick the easiest one, and try and do just that one thing for say a week or two. Then by the time you move on to something else you will have one under your belt, plus a little confidence in yourself because you did something on your list.. You know we are listies.. Gotta have that list.. But maybe it will help you. I think that you can do anything you put your mind to. <3

jillconyers said...

I haven't been a very good blogger lately either. A combination of time and mood I guess. I always hate to see summer end but at the same time I'm so ready for fall. Enjoy the retreat!

Your own photography business! That is awesome.

I know it's easier said than done but try not to be so hard on yourself. Small steps or things can quickly become too overwhelming. Like you don't already know that...right :)