Questions...

Owen is a very inquisitive child. He always has been. Even before he could talk. He doesn't let unknown words sneak by without definition. He wants to know how things work, how they are made, what's in things and where stuff comes from. And he's always thinking on things and making connections to other things. I love this about him and I try to nurture and encourage it.

The other day in the car he was talking about parents and grandparents. And he said, "Grandpa & grandpa are daddy's parents." "Yes," I replied, "they are." And we talked about what their names were and why he calls them Grandpa & Grandpa. (Which I think is so cute. He just can't seem to get the grandma concept down!) Then he asked me who my parents were. And I replied, "Mimi is my parent. She is my mom and your grandma." And then the question I knew, someday, would come. "Who is your dad?" So I told Owen my father's name is Tom. (I don't refer to him as my dad, because in my mind he's not.) And then Owen asked, "Where is he?" And I replied, "I don't know." To which he asked, "Why don't you know." So I told him my father left when I was a baby. It was a brief conversation but one I know Owen spent some time thinking about and storing it for later. That's what he does. I've learned to mostly only answer the questions I'm asked because more information than what is asked is often confusing and leads to more questions that I didn't necessarily want to answer!

I know some day this will come up again. And I know I can't change the circumstances that created how things are, but I'm the one left to answer Owen's questions. And I don't have the answers. I may never have the answers. Which is a hard thing to accept as a parent. Even when the question is as seemingly simple as, "Who are your parents."

In 6.5 hours...

At 3:50am Owen will officially be 5 years old. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. He is so excited for his birthday. And for me it is bittersweet. I love the boy that he is and is becoming everyday. I'm amazed at his sense of humor and his cleverness and his empathy and compassion for others. And while he may not be able to recognize or write all of his letters he understands people better than many adults. He knows that a hug and a smile and a gentle touch can mend feelings and brighten someone's day. He knows that an important part of an apology is the forgiveness. And he knows how to crack a joke and make up a funny song. He loves growing up and while he's doing that I keep wanting him to stay small. It's fascinating how two people can have completely different senses of the same time span. I feel like his childhood is whizzing by and he feels like some days take forever. Last Thursday when I told him his birthday was in one week he asked me how many sleeps that was. When I told him it was 7 sleeps he got teary eyed and said, "I can't do that many sleeps! It's too long!" And here we are barely one sleep away. (If he ever goes to sleep!)

To celebrate the eve before his birthday I will share some Owen funnies with you.

On the way to school the other day Owen said, "I am an excellent leader." I asked how he knew this and he said, "Because I've been the leader at school a few times and I was good at it." He then proceeded to tell me he "was peace and quiet." I asked what he meant by that and he said, "I like peace and quiet." I just loved how he declared that he *was* peace and quiet. It made me chuckle because when he *is* peace and quiet it usually means trouble is brewing.

When we had asparagus the other night Morgan broiled it in the oven with a little salt, pepper and oil. Owen had taken a bite of one of the discarded ends prior to being served the cooked asparagus and after he tasted the cooked stuff he said, "I like my recipe better." I asked what his recipe was and he replied, "salt, sugar, medicine and spit." He was really just hoping to eat it raw I think!

Upon receiving a new pair of shoes at Shriner's a couple of weeks ago he declared, "These are 100% running!" He judges any pair of shoes by their speed limit and those clearly passed the test!

I don't think there is anything better than being his mama. The last 5 years have brought many things but the most abundant of it has been joy!