{ A Life So Simple}

First 5K of the year...

2012-02-10T16:30:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow I am running the Valentine's Day 5K. My first 5K of the year. Along with my goal of getting exercise everyday I am also planning to run a 5K every other month plus (maybe) the Twin Cities 10 miler in October. I am a goal oriented person and I like to have deadlines and things to work toward. Last fall I started running again and my goal was a 5K in December. Check, got that done. My friend Jen ever so graciously ran it with me even though we are the most incompatible running partners ever!

Today I picked up my number and shirt for tomorrow's race. The *taken* is for my back. Since it's a Valentine themed event people can wear a sign on their back (if they want) to indicate if they are available, taken or it's complicated (I think that's the other choice). I guess meeting someone at a race is better than a bar (maybe).

I also got my shirt and was able to find a cold weather compression top at Target on clearance. I'm not opposed to having something like this in my running wardrobe but I will most likely not wear it often so I was happy about the clearance part. It's a little fleecy on the inside. I may need to sew a pocket on it though as my running pants only have a small key pocket and I like to run with my phone too.

When I picked up my race number and shirt the running store was offering 20% of purchases for race participants so I picked up some new shoes. It may not be the best idea to run a race in new shoes ( I don't really know) but they are just the newest version of my current shoes. I have been having some foot pain and the guy at the store thought maybe my shoes were wearing out. He said he gets pain in the same spot when his start to go. They also match my outfit better than my old ones :-)

We've had an unseasonable warm winter here in MN but for today and tomorrow it's going to be much more arctic. Lucky me! Which is the reason for the warmer top! As long as I'm moving I'll be fine.

It probably seems as though I'm making a big deal out a little ol' 5K. BUT I am not a runner. Well, I guess that's not true. I run, so I'm a runner. I don't subscribe to the whole "jogging" thing because if it's not walking, it's running. And I'm not fast. I guess what I mean is I'm not the traditional runner in the sense that I've been doing it since high school or college. I started running in my mid 20s and it was a long process to get to a place where I feel like I enjoy it. Partly why I started was because I am a little competitive but I'm not a team sport person. I was a dancer and I did that competitively for awhile but after college I basically gave it up. Running is just a personal challenge that I enjoy and it's faster than walking. Although lots of taller people can walk as fast as I run! And in junior high and high school part of the Presidential Physical Fitness challenge was running a mile. I could not do that. And it always bothered me. Now, I can run a mile. And I may not run all my miles consecutively (I still take walk breaks) but now I can run. And I'm damn proud of that.

Happy New Year!...Oh wait, it's February...

2012-02-06T19:47:00.001-06:00

I have written many blog posts since the last one I posted. They just reside in the madness of my mind. Obviously I feel off the Daily December documentation Train. No surprise. I have however accomplished many things in the last (almost) 2 months.

We celebrated Christmas. It was lovely. Owen did not receive any clothes from us which I was informed was not a fun gift. He did receive a few clothing items from my mom and sis but they know his particular taste so they were received with a smile. He is already planning for his birthday and keeps asking how many sleeps until then.
We celebrated New Years Eve with friends. They boys stayed up until midnight and then watched fireworks out the window of our friends' house. I'm pretty sure neither of them had ever stayed up that long ever. It was declared, "The BEST night ever!" Morgan got sick. Which we thought was because he ate too much (he never does this (wink, wink) but it turns out he had a bug. Which we realized after Owen got it. I avoided all of it. Amazingly.
For my 2012 goal (not a resolution) I decided I would get some exercise everyday. I didn't declare a number of minutes or the type of exercise it should be. So far so good. For the most part I either run or ride my bike. Once a week I go to the Y for a weight class and then get on the ellipse machine. My workouts are usually 20-60 minutes. Riding my bike has been a great opportunity to Keep Up with The Kardashians. (Much to the dismay of my sister and my marketing co-worker.) And I am able to keep running thanks to good LOUD music and a goal of the next 5K. (Which just happens to be this Saturday!) Moderation is not something I am good at so to not have rigid guidelines about how much, when, where and for how long is a big accomplishment for me. It has become a habit that is just part of my day and I don't need to think too much about it.
Morgan and I have begun keeping track of our eating habits and are working on making healthier choices. To help us with this we are using a cool app called Lose It! It's free and works quite well. It's even equipped with a bar code scanner so we can scan foods, the app with then will then find the food and show the nutritional information. I know that keeping a food journal works but I have not been successful at this for a long time because I hated having to look everything up online or in a book. This is super handy since it's on my phone and I can either scan things or search for them. Homemade meals are a little trickier but we've gotten good at figuring them out. It has been very helpful for me that we are both doing it.
I've become a morning person. I'm not sure when this happened but it did. And it's been beneficial for getting my workouts in. I'm usually up and at em' early enough to get a workout in before taking O to school and going to work. This has always been my preferred time to workout, I just wasn't usually up early enough to do it! It may have something to do with getting better and more continuous sleep, which has happened as a result of Owen getting older and mostly sleeping through the night now! Although Ludwig still does his share of waking up in the night.
For 2012 I realized I need to take more pictures for my own creative self. When it came time to make my 2012 gift calendars I found I had not taken very many pictures that weren't portraits! In the end I pulled it together but this year I need to make a point of shooting more of what I see with my creative eye.

And that's about it for the last 2 months. At least that I can remember right now! Maybe it won't be so long in between posts this year.

Oh Look! I'm behind...

2011-12-14T18:21:00.003-06:00

So much for posting daily in December. I made it one day. One day of a daily post. Don't worry though, we've been busy enjoying the season. Here's my recap of days 6-14.


12/6 The Christmas tree is up!! We are very heavy on the bottom 1/2 of the tree this year. O had a great time decorating.

12/6 We added a little tree to the Lego display.

Our Little People nativity set is all arranged.

Owen's Christmas stocking and on the shelf with it is the most wonderful smelling pine candle.

12/7 presents under the tree.

12/7 Owen sporting a mustache! He was singing a song about a mustache so I broke out my stick on mustaches for him to play with!

12/8 I created an outdoor pot for outside of our breezeway door. It makes me happy every time I come home!

12/8 A new ornament from Santa. Toosy inspected our tree and declared it festive and sparkly!

12/8 Toosy taking a break in one of my ornament jars.

12/9 Our first batch of holiday cookies. These are made with a peppermint kiss in the middle. My friend Jen has dubbed them Dr. Seuss cookies.

12/10 The lego set got a new guy who got a fishing pole and a fire.

12/11 Owen at lunch at Culver's. His Christmas program was that morning! He was a sheep.

12/11 We had a little home improvement time on Sunday. It was supposed to be just a parts replacement but ended up being a new toilet!

Toosy left Owen a message on the chess board.

Our days have been filled with work and school and homework and family time. Last night I went out with some ECFE friends. It was lovely to catch up. On Sunday Naunee came to visit and brought Owen the cutest Christmas pillow case and a felt ornament for me. Saturday night I had book club with some girlfriends and Owen and Morgan went to a spanish party. O had a great time. Tonight we are just enjoying a quiet evening at home.

December 5th

2011-12-05T21:18:00.000-06:00

It was back to school and work for all of us today. Mondays are one of my two job days. I work in one department in the morning and another in the afternoon. Things have been slowing down in both departments the last few weeks and I'm okay with that. I had lunch with my morning boss and our processor (it was her birthday) and that was nice. Then I left early to do a little shopping during which I ran into Owen's preschool teacher. I was so excited. Jen & I have been trying to get together with her for a few months now but our schedules just haven't aligned. Then after I picked the boys up from the bus stop we visited at O's buddy's house for a bit, which is always nice.

Morgan moved my bike inside and hooked it up to the trainer so my morning workout was on that while I watched the news. A nice change from the treadmill.

The Lego set for the day was another part to the police station.

In the evening I had bible study at church, which has been a nice addition to my weekly schedule and then a little shopping afterward. All in all not a bad Monday.

Daily December Posts

2011-12-04T16:58:00.001-06:00

Every year I think it would be great do a Daily December album. But...I'm not good at it. I fall short. I don't like the albums I make. I end up abandoning the plan and don't have anything completed at the end. Last year I didn't even bother thinking about it. Part of it depends on whether or not it's a travel year for us at Christmas or not. This year is not a travel year so I feel more relaxed and able to enjoy Advent. And even though today is December 4th (so I'm already behind!) I've decided to my Daily December will be documented here on my blog. I can post pictures without having to print them and I can write about our adventures or the lack there of. And at the end I will have a record of December. And the lovely part is doing a Daily December takes us through Advent and Christmas.

So this is my catch up post.

December 1st

We opened the first door on the Lego Advent Calendar. I think it's a crook. Owen added the wrench thing on his own! He was pretty excited about the calendar. Our Christmas Elf brought the set when he came on 11/30. We also opened the first door on our Advent house. Each spot contains either a piece of candy or an except of the Christmas Story.

After school Owen's best buddy came home with us. They spent the better part of the evening creating Lego vehicles and pretending. I'm sometimes surprised they don't get sick of each other because they spend quite a bit of time together but often when it's time for them to depart they get upset because it just wasn't enough playtime!

December 2nd

We added a snowball launcher to the Lego set. Again, Owen thought this was a thrilling addition!

On Fridays I don't work (and O doesn't have school until the afternoon) so we were able to go to the orchestra with Owen's best buddy, his sister and his mom. We saw an abbreviated version of the opera Hansel and Gretel and then had lunch downtown. Lunch with three kids is always interesting!!!

We opened day 2 of the Advent house.

And found Toosy sleeping on the shelf in the morning and after school putting together a puzzle.

December 3rd

The Lego Set piece was a Police man.

That morning I ran the Reindeer around Lake Harriet in Minneapolis with my friend Jen. I've been preparing for the race for the last three months. Despite my training I was not able to run the entire thing but I was able to finish in the 45 minutes I had projected. 43:44 to be exact. And the song blaring over the speakers when we came into the home stretch was Maroon Five's Moves Like Jagger, which just happens to be my favorite running song right now!

We also saw this interesting Santa who had apparently run the race in just what you see in the picture as his race number was pinned to his behind!

That evening the three of us went to see the play A Silent Night for Peef at the Stages Theatre. Prior to the play we had dinner at a Brazilian restaurant. Fortunately for Owen they had cheeseburgers and chocolate cake for dessert!

It was a lovely play and we had a great time.

December 4th

I don't have any pictures to post for today. We went to church where Owen and Morgan had an Advent activity during Sunday school. Owen made sand art brownies in a jar for me. We ran a few errands after church. I spent some time leisurely on the couch watching football and perusing Pinterest for holiday ideas. Morgan and Owen went to the pool. I'm hoping to get the rest of the lights up on the Christmas tree tonight and after O goes to bed do some shopping at Kohl's, which is open until 12am. Shopping after bedtime is my favorite time to shop.

The back burner...

2011-11-09T20:54:00.002-06:00

To say that we've been busy around here for the last six weeks would be an under statement. Our calendar for October was a rainbow of colors. (I use iCal and we each have our own color for our appointments). And while we accomplished a lot, or so it appears, in those six or so weeks there are still lots of things that are waiting to be done.

Replacing the parts inside the toilet tank. Morgan said he was going to try to tackle that one on his own but he wanted me to be on stand-by. Maybe it could wait until his dad comes in a couple of weeks!
Finishing O's Flash Kid costume. It's mostly done. And I had planned to finish it up for Halloween but then he decided to be Optimus Prime so I didn't bother. Why would anyone want to wear a costume sewn by your mother when you can wear a store bought, on clearance last year no less, costume!
Scrapbooking. Yeah, I haven't done that in over a year. Except for 1 or 2 digital pages. Not scrapbooking has cut down on the purchasing of scrapbook supplies though. So I guess not doing something saves us money.
Painting our bedroom. Or picking out colors for our bedroom. I think I'm close. Really. But I have a fear of commitment when it comes to that room.
Filing the papers that accumulate in my to-keep basket. Occasionally I rifle through there to find something so I guess it's serving a purpose.
Cleaning out the linen closet. Every time I open it I think, "I'll get that tidied up and organized soon." Yup. Soon. Maybe I'll put it on my resolution list.
Our storage area falls in with with the linen closet. Soon.
Replacing the dishwasher. And the garage door opener.
Getting the windshield replaced.
And I'm sure if I could stay awake longer I could think of more things.

One thing I'm enjoying a lot right now is my new iPhone. It was my birthday present. I've wanted one since their inception. Morgan got one too. And the most wonderful part is having our calendar synced on both our phones! Morgan forgets that he has to do the syncing (our computer is too mature for the iCloud) but for the most part we are now on the same page. That has been super helpful. Basically I can use my phone like an external brain. I just put in my notes, reminders, alarms and calendar items and then I don't have to keep them in my head. Which has been super helpful because my brain's recall is really slow sometimes.

I'll leave you with Optimus Owen. We called this costume ensemble Halloween Fusion. The Optimus Prime mask was not comfortable nor safe for Trick or Treating. So he opted for this mask and a cape as well!

2 years...

2011-09-28T20:25:00.002-05:00

It's been 2 years since my dear, sweet friend Nikki passed away. And yet it was just yesterday that she stopped over to see me and O and share that she was pregnant. Just yesterday she called to say her beautiful baby girl had come early and she was now part of the c-section club. Just yesterday that she was pulling me down the hallway in a wagon after school. And singing with a margarita and playing inappropriate rap music for my little baby Owen and planning how parades and so many other things would go so much more smoothly if she were just in charge. And so many, many other wonderful things that seemed to have happened just yesterday.

Some days I still wake and realize that she is gone and my heart aches for the loss of her and all that she is missing and what we are missing by not having her here. Life does continue on after the loss of a loved one but the grief is still right under the surface. Especially when the loss is so incomprehensible.

Not too long ago I had a dream with Nikki in it. I don't recall the specifics of it but I remember waking up with that sinking feeling, that is reality. But I was also happy for the dream because she was there in it alive and well and talking back to me. I still talk to her. About the things I would talk to her about if she were here. And I try to imagine what she would say.

And just like that...

2011-09-11T21:13:00.001-05:00

Owen is a kindergartener. Not unlike many major events in a person's life, there was all kinds of preparation and anticipation and then, in the blink of an eye, it began. And as is probably often the case it was the most traumatic for the mama (or me). I sobbed Monday evening (as I mentioned in my previous post.) Tuesday I woke to, "Mama! What yur doin'?" It was not yet 6 am so I was, as you may have guessed, still asleep. That day O and I were scheduled to go to his school together for just an hour of school. The goal was to meet the teacher, see the classroom, meet a few classmates, bring our supplies and see how the typical daily routine would be. We were supposed to be there at 1pm. Owen was ready at the door by 7am. He dressed himself in the appropriate clothes for school from the drawer in his dresser that holds all his uniform clothes.

Earlier in the summer these uniform clothes were the source of a big meltdown. He needs to wear polo shirts. Polo shirts have collars and buttons. Owen is not a fan of either. Meaning he would go naked in a snowstorm before he would choose a shirt with a collar and buttons. When the shirts arrived (I ordered them from Lands' End) he of course noticed the box and was eager to see what was inside. He loves packages! I explained what the shirts were for and he promptly became a flailing, sobbing, screaming mess of a boy. He did not want to wear THOSE shirts with buttons! And it was the edges of the buttons specifically, that he did not like. I told him at his new school all the children wear these clothes and he declared that he did not want to go to a school where he could not wear his own clothes. I explained that they were his own, I had bought them for him. "NO! MY REGULAR CLOTHES!" ie., no buttons, collars or boring colors without pictures. I put the shirts away and decided we would talk about them another time. Perhaps when he was in a more sane and rational mood. Yes, I know I'm referring to a 5 year old. Eventually, weeks later, I washed the shirts and got him to try one on for about 30 seconds just to see if it fit. There was not a meltdown but he was still not happy about the shirts. Fortunately, I was able to find pants in kahki and navy blue that do not have buttons or zippers. Oh yes, there are rules for the kinds of pants he will wear too. I was able to get him to try on the pants to check for size and he actually said, "Oh, I like these pants." and then, "I like the shirts too." I had a moment where I wondered if he and Morgan had been drinking beer together before I got home, but he smelled fine and his eyes were focusing so I figured maybe he had done some adjusting to the uniform concept.

Okay, so as I mentioned he was ready by 7am. We didn't need to be there until 1pm. It was going to be a long 6 hours. We talked him out of his shoes and backpack. He had some breakfast. He played some legos. He watched a tv show. He asked me three times if it was time for school yet. He played outside with the daycare kids. We had some lunch. Finally, it was time to leave! I love that Owen approaches most things in life as a new adventure. Provided he has enough time to anticipate the event. If we hadn't spent most of the summer talking about and getting ready for school, he may not have been as eager. But he was definitely ready.

When we arrived he was a little taken aback by his teacher talking to him in Spanish. But being a teacher she was able to recognize this apprehension and direct him out of it. I believe it also helped a great deal that I was there with him. For both of us.

He found his hook, and his cubby and chose a seat at a table in the front of the room. He chose a seat at the end of a table facing the front of the room. I was so proud! He has a prime seat for all the action. His teacher took us through what a typical lesson would be like in the classroom and Owen was engrossed the whole time.

(Frankly my head was starting to hurt! I think his teacher did a wonderful job with the lesson and teaching immersion is no easy task. It is very much hands on and requires a lot of energy. Both on the part of the teacher and the student. I have a hard time because I'm always trying to picture in my head how the words she is saying are spelled. I can read things in Spanish (not with a lot of understanding) and pronounce them because I know how the letters sound and I do this with English words too. For instance, I have a coworker who's name is Elisha. It is pronounced Alicia. I always want to pronounce it E-lisha, because of how it's spelled. And there are so many words in Spanish that sound the same (to me) but are spelled differently that I feel like if I see the words then maybe I will be able to remember the meaning. Obviously this is not how immersion education works!)

After our hour was up we waited for O's friend to have his hour (the A-H kids were first then the I-Z kids) and then we had a brief play at the park with his friend and a snack. On the way home O fell asleep. He slept for at least 2 hours. He also fell asleep on Wednesday, tried to Thursday but I gave him chocolate milk, and on Friday when he fell asleep on the way home I just let him sleep.

Tomorrow he begins going to the before kindergarten program, which is specifically for K students who are in 1/2 day but need all day care. The program builds on what the kids are covering in their regular class and includes lunch and recess. Then he goes to his afternoon class and comes home. I'm sure he will be wiped out again. He's been getting up around 6am everyday and he goes and goes all day!

All ready for the Pre-first day!

At his seat in his classroom.

Cheezy smile on the actual first day.

Beginning a new chapter...

2011-09-05T23:07:00.000-05:00

Besides writing about Nikki I think this is probably one of the hardest posts I have written. I've only just begun and I'm already tearing up.

Tomorrow is Owen's first day of school. Sort of. Tomorrow we go together for about an hour and then Wednesday he begins. On his own in Kindergarten. This seriously brings me to sobbing tears. My baby is going to school. Everyday. On his own with other kids whose parents I don't know, who aren't my friends and who I may not even like. Which I guess happened last year for preschool but it was a smaller class and only 3 days a week. And he did famously and I was fine and we adjusted. And I know it will (most likely) be a wonderful year. It's just that at the beginning of things I always look at the big picture of it and freak out about how we are going to get through it. It takes me a bit of time to step back and look at it one day at a time. (Or a week and a half since that's how much of the transportation planning we've done thus far!) I worry about how he's going to deal with being immersed in spanish, if he's going to sing the inappropriate songs that he's learned from Morgan (or some choice words from me), how he's going to make new friends (which I really shouldn't worry about) or use the bathroom on his own (if a #2 should occur!). I worry about him being teased or picked on or getting hurt. And I see all of these things at one time and feel so overwhelmed and anxious and wonder if maybe I should just keep him home where he will be safe and loved and protected. I know our job is to raise him to be a grown-up but it just happens so fast. I'm not sure where the last 5 years have gone. Even though it's, for the most part, well documented in photographs and scrapbooks. I feel like we aren't cherishing his childhood days enough. That we need to cram more into each one of them. More meaningful adventures. More games and pretend and legos and always more cuddles. But at the same time the minutia of each day still needs tending to. The laundry and the dishes and work and cleaning up toys. And more and more he's becoming a part of that. So the cherishing is becoming less about putting him at the center of attention and more about including him in what we do everyday. It's hard to raise an only child. And I know I have friends who laugh at that and think it's cake because we only have one child to deal with and discipline and feed and care for. And I suppose there is some truth to that. But there is always the danger of that one child becoming self-centered and selfish. Which is something we don't want at all. And that hardest part of having an only is the overwhelming feelings I have at times when we are doing something for the first and the last time at the same time. Like the first day of kindergarten. I don't get a do-over with a second or third child. I get one chance. And I am often conscious of trying to make those moments perfect. Recording all my thoughts and feelings and observations and taking enough pictures of every little detail. I suppose in some way raising an only child is perfect for me. I only have one to obsess over.
So now that O is finally asleep and I have everything (almost) ready I can try to go to sleep so we are both ready for both of these special days!

But not without leaving you with two of my favorite pictures from our recent SD and MT vacation trip.

For surviving a summer of daycare Owen got to choose a new toy. He selected a Captain America Mask and Shield. Which he wore on a hike in Custer State Park in SD.

Reviewing his pictures in MT. I love how he's just reclining on that big rock.

How I might, just maybe, be ADD...

2011-08-23T17:54:00.003-05:00

One day Morgan looked at me and said, "I guess ADD wasn't diagnosed much when we were kids, was it?" He was insinuating that I may have a case of it. While I took offense to his insinuation there may just be a sliver of truth to it. Here's plausible evidence...

This morning I made a list of the things I'd like to accomplish this evening (writing on here wasn't on the list). After Owen and I came home I began working on the list. I started a load of laundry and while I was in the laundry room I tidied up the table and drawers down there and put away a few things. Then I came up stairs and put the cardboard I found in the laundry room in the recycling...which is by the dog food so I decided to feed Ludwig. Then I emptied my lunch bags that I brought home and put those dishes on the table while I put the bags away. And then I noticed the empty box of vacuum cleaner bags which reminded me that I needed to order some more of those. So I sat down at the computer to look for them on amazon. And then the phone rang, so I went to answer that in the bedroom and after I got off the phone I noticed the basket of clothes I brought up to put away but had started cleaning the bathroom instead. Which I hadn't finished cleaning because Owen was in there doing some business and I hadn't changed my clothes yet. Incidentally, on my list is:

Clean the bathroom
Do a load of laundry and put 1 away
Sort the mail piles
Finish the dishes
Finish Lori's pictures

The dishes from my lunch are still on the table. The laundry is still in the basket and the vacuum bags are not ordered. The bathroom is 1/2 done and there is laundry in the washer. It's a start...

You don't always get what you want...

2011-08-06T09:25:00.003-05:00

Such a harsh reality when one is 5. Owen realized yesterday that he left his camera (which really isn't his) at daycare. Which wouldn't be a big deal except that our daycare/neighbor lady is on vacation. I had asked Owen if he wanted to bring it home but he said no. Yesterday he broke into sobs when he realized where it was and then proclaimed (between sobs) (after I told him I would not be going to get it), "I will have to buy a new one!!!!" Yeah, I don't think so. He made due with the camera on my phone. And then asked, "Does this do video?" Because the other camera does and he loves to take videos.

This whole drama came about because he wanted to take pictures of his *big muscles*. And for a 5 year old he is pretty muscular, but it still cracks me up when he refers to his muscles as big. I indulged him in some muscle pictures which really look more like pirate face pictures.

When he saw the picture of his sad face he demanded to know why I had taken that. Truth be told I take what I can get now. Rarely can I get him to sit and smile nicely for me. It's always some scrunched up pirate or monster face. And always in a super hero-ish pose. In the above one he's standing on the arm of the sofa.

We are going through a stubborn and independence seeking phase right now. Yesterday we disagreed about what shirt he was going to wear. I wanted him to wear his tie dyed shirt so I would be able to see him easily at the park. He of course wanted to wear something else. Yelling and crying ensued and the revoking of TV and computer privileges (because he socked me in the hip) and finally he choose a t-shirt that was somewhat tie dye looking.

For the most part I consider the day a loss in the parenting arena. I backed down on the shirt even though I was demanding that he wear it. I suppose I could have wrestled it on him while he thrashed around and cried & yelled. But I probably would have gotten kicked in the nose. And he did pick one that I would be able to see. I did let him watch a movie because the friend that he was going to have over later couldn't come and he was sad about that. I always desperately wanted a nap. And then I let him use the computer for a little bit while I did dishes.

When I was teaching I had very clear expectations for my students and they knew in advance what those expectations were. They also learned very quickly that I didn't change my mind and that consequences always followed when the expectations were not met or rules were broken. It took a few years but I learned to not take things personally and to deal with students in a way that was kind but firm. It is much more difficult for me to deal with Owen in the same way. Mostly because as a teacher I was able to remove myself emotionally from my students. They were not my children. And each day they went home to someone else who had to deal with their assertions of independence and their defiance. And if those things presented themselves in my classroom I had a parent I could call or an office to send them out to. I suppose I could call Morgan and tell him that Owen was being a turd but it wouldn't really make a difference. (Morgan is not a harsh disciplinarian.) If anything Owen would want to talk to him so he could try to talk him into letting him come to his office. And the farthest I can send him is his room and I can still hear him when he's in there pitching a fit. Maybe I need to start vacuuming again like I did when O would cry at nap times.

After talking with a girlfriend and fellow mama yesterday I realized, yet again, that this journey is ever changing. Once we feel like we've overcome one challenge, say potty training, we are presented with another, like choosing an elementary school. I guess we are fortunate in some ways to only deal with the challenges of one child while other parents have multiple challenges to deal with all at the same time. I would not trade being Owen's mama for anything. But sometimes I'd like to sit in a quiet dark room with a drink for awhile.

Ribbit...

2011-08-04T23:14:00.003-05:00

Our yard is full of toads this summer. Last weekend we were doing some landscaping in the back yard (actually hardscaping because we aren't planting anything!) and while we were digging up the old window wells we found at least 2 dozen little toads. The front yard has also been teaming with them and they've been a bit of a nuisance while mowing. I moved several of them when I mowed a couple of weeks ago and Morgan found even more while he mowed on Sunday. Hopefully they are smart enough to nestle down in the dirt when the mower comes along. Otherwise they are now compost. They seem to really like living in the window wells though so we put them back there after we installed the new ones. Owen had a great time playing with them. It actually kept him busy for the better part of the afternoon while we worked. He made them a playground in his little wagon complete with a water feature. Then he introduced us to them (we had to say our names to the toads) and he gave them names too. They got to ride in some of his sandbox cars and even do a little flying. But he did it all very gently. I was very impressed with the care he took in playing with them and I was a little surprised that he was touching them at all. This was the first time he willingly picked up a toad! In past years he would look at them while someone else held them (not me) but didn't want to touch them.

The toad above was kind enough to hold still for me for quite sometime. I'm not sure what he was doing hanging out in the rocks but he wasn't in a hurry to go any where. Thanks toad. You are pretty cute.

The good, the bad and the ugly in Chicago...

2011-07-30T19:36:00.001-05:00

Two weeks ago (actually, that's not quite accurate. I began this post on June 9th and just now finished it!) we took a long weekend trip to Chicago. An adventure I wasn't at first willing to have but was some what forced into. Morgan and I had been talking about going to Chicago for awhile. As in a few years. Morgan is more action oriented and I'm more talk oriented. At least when it comes to traveling. I don't like to travel. I can enjoy myself when I get there but the getting there causes me a lot of stress and anxiety. Enough so that I would, for the most part, prefer to just stay home and talk about traveling. I know what you are thinking. "Wow! This does not sound like the out-going, adventure seeking Heather that I know and love!" Okay, that is totally not what you are thinking but sometimes I like to think that I'm am not as predictable as I am. I digress...

Morgan planned the trip to Chicago. He did the research on how we would get there (Mega Bus) and where we would stay (Hostel). I laughed in his face and told him there was no way I was staying in a hostel and sharing a bathroom with other people! And I'd have to do it alone since the rooms (dorms essentially) were same sex! No thank you dear! And let's not forget that Owen won't sleep with out a cuddle from his mama. So Morgan did more research and found out we could get a 3 person suite and stay together. Okay. Fine. I'll stay in the hostel. It was after all $400 or so cheaper than the cheapest hotel we could find downtown. the bus part I was mostly okay with. I had fond memories of a bus trip to Grand Rapids with my mom when I was a child. I'm sure she doesn't have fond memories of it since she was older and wiser and probably realized taking the bus was like being trapped in a car with people you know and will soon come to not care for. (Incidentally Owen's favorite part was the bus!) So Morgan booked the trip. Which I found out one night when I came home to find confirmation e-mails in our inbox. I was a little irate when I found that he had scheduled us to leave on Owen's last day of preschool. Irate enough to wake him from his cozy slumber with a jab in the chest and a, "why are there confirmations for a trip in our in box on O's last day of preschool!?" To which he replied, "I didn't think the last day would be that big of a deal." Fortunately Morgan was able to reschedule us to leave the following day. Everyone remained unharmed.

We took the city bus from about a 1/2 mile from our house to downtown Minneapolis where we caught the Mega Bus. Because of all this bus travel and walking we packed light. One suitcase for the three of us and one backpack for each of us. I managed to pack Owen's backpack too full because he fell down when he tried to carry it. I hope he grows a bit before he has to carry too many things to school in it!

It's an 8 hour trip to Chicago. By bus or car. For us by car it would probably be 10. It was nice to have someone else drive. The seats were mostly comfortable. The wi-fi did not work. Probably because traveling through rural Wisconsin there is limited wi-fi signal to the bus. But we kept ourselves occupied. The bus was a little cool but the three of us would rather be cold than too hot. However, that was not the case for the woman who was sitting three rows up from us. She was not happy. And thus the rest of us were not happy. First, because she complained loudly. And second, because the bus driver tried to please her by turning the air off. And by off I mean the AC and the circulation of the air. Then when the people in the front of the bus (baking in the sun shining in the window) complained they were too hot the driver turned the AC back on. And the lady back by us started her bitching again. Hopefully she was able to get her money refunded, as she loudly proclaimed she would be attempting to do, because if not, she's bothering someone else about that!

Once we arrived in Chicago it was raining. We had one umbrella. Owen lasted on his feet for about 1 block. The hostel was .8 miles from the bus stop. Our adventure had begun. Morgan carried Owen on his shoulder and pulled the suitcase through the rain while I carried my backpack and Owen's and tried to keep up. And figure out if we were going the right way to the hostel. Incidentally, I am getting an iPhone. My phone is only psuedo-smart. And at that moment it was not smart enough for what I wanted it to do! Fortunately we were headed in the right direction and did find the hostel.

The hostel is right downtown just east of the Buckingham Fountain on E Congress Parkway. And right next to the El. It's quite a nice building and is supposedly one of the largest and nicest hostels. It is not a hotel. And it doesn't boast that it is. But it was clean and well maintained and we only saw the other people staying in our shared area maybe 3 times. There was never a wait for the bathroom or shower and it was mostly very quiet. Except for the El. But that noise didn't really bother me.

We did a lot of walking. A LOT. Morgan could have done more. And I probably could have too. But Owen was only going to do as little as he could get by with. He spent a lot of time riding on Morgan's shoulders. Our explorations were mostly confined between the lake, just east of us and State Street to the West. Then down to the Field Museum and up to Navy Pier. We spent a fair amount of time exploring the parks. We visited the Shedd Aquarium one morning. It is a huge and fascinating place but in my opinion quite over priced. It is also a little disorganized in terms of how they admit people. If you don't have tickets you have to wait in line. An hours long line. I don't know about you but I can think of nothing I'd wait in line for hours to see. Especially fish. We had purchased our tickets online so we didn't have to wait in line to either buy them or pick them up. However, no one (staff) seemed to be able to guide us in the right direction. Eventually we did get in and didn't wait long but it was still rather disorganized. When we left the aquarium there was a line probably 3/4 of a mile long of people waiting, in the rain, to get in. It was crazy!

I loved the buildings and the parks. Buckingham Fountain was just amazing. As well as the gardens around it. The first full day we were there it was still a little rainy and quite foggy. Which made the city interesting and beautiful. Since it was still rainy and we didn't all fit under my umbrella Morgan decided he needed to get his own. A huge one. Fit for a man. So off we went into Macy's to find him a manbrella. The bigger the better. (Of course). It took some searching (and two sales people) but we eventually found the manbrellas. Once Morgan settled on one that was sufficiently big enough that we could all (and an elephant) fit under he went off to pay for it while Owen and I perused the over priced office accessories. It was probably the nicest Macy's I've ever been in. Which is a compliment considering I think Macy's is the Wal-Mart of department stores. Of course while we are terrorizing, I mean perusing the office accessories Owen comes to the realization that a #2 is coming down the pipes and we need to find Morgan and the bathroom stat! Off we went to find both. We gathered up Morgan, asked for the nearest rest room and hastily made our way to the lower level where Morgan rushed Owen off to the rest room. I sat down in the food court to wait for them to return. After about 5 minutes I see Morgan rushing out of the hallway toward me with Owen on his arm and one of his (Owen's) shoes in his hand. He looked at me as he walked by and said, "We have to leave NOW!" and kept right on going. I quickly gathered up my bag, umbrella and the excessively large manbrella and trotted off after him as quickly as possible. I could only just keep him in my sight as he rushed up the escalator and through the store to the exit. At the time my mind was wondering why on earth we needed to leave so quickly and exactly how fast we could get back to the hostel to clean up whatever mess had been made in Owen's pants! It hadn't occurred to me to bring extra clothes while we were exploring! Now, when I look back on this, I'm amazed at how quickly Morgan exited the store because he has a very distorted sense of direction and gets turned around quite easily.

Once we all arrived safely outside the store, the boys first then me, to find Morgan putting Owen's shoe back on, I discovered it was not Owen who was the culprit but Morgan. He had mistakenly gone into the women's rest room. He didn't realize his mistake until an older woman came in. When she discovered him in the women's restroom she yelled at him, "Get out of here!" Well, since Owen was busy dropping the load of the day in a stall while Morgan waited patiently on the outside he couldn't just leave. It was at this point Morgan realized his blunder and told the woman he must have accidentally come into the wrong place and he couldn't leave because his son was in the stall. She replied, "GET OUT NOW!" Morgan looked at the irate old woman and yelled, "You get out now!" In another stall was a woman who worked in the store who overheard the exchange between Morgan and the old bag and radioed for security stating, "We have a 529 in the women's rest room". Upon hearing this Morgan quickly wiped Owen's backside, hoisted up his pants, and hauled ass out of the rest room before security could arrive. Which at the time seemed much easier than hanging around to try and explain how he had ended up in the wrong rest room in the first place. And that is why we can never go back to the Macy's in Chicago again!

That was after we had walked a mile that seemed like 5 to go to Pizzeria Uno for dinner only to discover that the wait was an hour and a half. We ate dinner that evening at a lovely PF Chang's. And that was just the first evening of our adventure!

The weather cleared up the third day we were there. We had a rather short visit at the Chicago Institute of Art. It is not a family friendly museum and they watch children like hawks. Every time we turned around one of the guards was telling us that Owen shouldn't be doing something. Now do get me wrong. Owen can get into stuff. And I know this. I also know how to behave in a museum, we have a few here in Minneapolis, and I know how to keep Owen in line in a museum. He was not doing anything that would necessitate correction at the Minneapolis Institute of Art, a museum we've visited multiple times without incident. A classy, well stocked museum of fine art. But after and hour in the CIA we had to leave. I couldn't take the stress if making sure he wasn't going to accost another information plaque or attempt to touch the cording preventing him from getting too close to a piece of art or, heaven forbid, Morgan putting Owen back on his shoulders. Which he had done to keep Owen from touching another single surface in the museum but that was apparently a safety hazard. So, CIA guards (aptly named I think) you may kiss my A$$. We have some decent art here to.

And now, since it's been six weeks since I began this post, I think I will wrap it up. The bus ride back to Mpls. was thankfully uneventful. Oh, wait, I'm wrong. I was eventful. Because of the man sitting in front of Morgan and Owen who decided it would be a good idea to carry on a Cuban cigar IN HIS HAND onto the bus. And then fall asleep with it IN HIS HAND. And then wake up and not be able to find it because he was sleeping with it IN HIS HAND! So he and the guy (who supposedly was his friend) looked all over for it and it was no where to be found. Gee, I wonder if he asked the guy sitting next to him!? The guy proclaimed loudly several times that if whoever took it would just return it then all would be forgotten. Hmmm, funny that it didn't turn up. OR that the guy didn't wait until everyone was off the bus so he could look for it again. Oh, and then there was the creepy guy on the 5 back to our house from Mpls. Who still had his discharge papers from the loony wing of the county hospital downtown. Yeah, if you are going to ride the bus it would be a good idea to not act weird carrying hospital discharge papers and wearing the ID bracelet from the hospital. It might be easier to blend in. But then again, probably not. Since he was acting loony for most of the ride and standing right in front of us talking to Owen like he was much younger than 5. Some of you who live here may know about the 5. Or THE 5. It's the bus that runs from Brooklyn Center all the way through North Minneapolis, downtown, South Minneapolis and to the Mall of America. It's an *interesting* ride almost any time of day. And that night it was packed to the gills. At one point there was a mostly high man making gay slurs at another younger man who was standing up near the high guy (because there wasn't a square inch of seating on the whole bus). I don't like bullying. And I can handle it when it is children. I know what to do. But when it's adults I'm not sure when, or if to step in. The younger man was on his way to a night class, presumably nursing since he was wearing scrubs, and did not appear in anyway unable to take care of himself. He was just quiet and keeping to himself. And the mostly high guy appeared as though he could kick the crap out of someone, if he weren't high, and I really don't think it would be a good idea for me to get into a rumble on the 5 in North Minneapolis. Eventually a couple people cleared out and the younger man was able to sit down away from the high guy. I don't understand why people think they can say whatever they want to whomever they want. And freedom of speech is not a good argument for that.

Despite those quirky bus rides we did make it home safely, all in one piece and have lovely pictures to show for the trip. Which I will post another time. Hopefully not six weeks from now.

Our next family vacation adventure will take us to Custer State Park in South Dakota (where I've been car sick before) and then on to Montana to visit Morgan's parents. Where hopefully it won't be hot as blazes or on fire. Either way, it won't (most likely) be humid.

A short post...

2011-07-21T16:22:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted in ages, although I do have a long post in process about or trip to Chicago. That happened about a month ago! It was only a 3 day trip. You'd think the post wouldn't be that long. Oh, but we travel in a big way!

So here are a few observations of our life right now...

Owen will be starting kindergarten in 6.5 short weeks. He is not ready. And neither am I. I cried to my mom on the phone this morning about this. He's been very emotionally lately about going to daycare and starting kindergarten. He doesn't want to go to daycare lately. Even though on our day off he's over there right now playing with the kids. He doesn't want to go to kindergarten everyday. Just some of the days. And he doesn't want to wear the uniform shirts. They have buttons. And the buttons have edges. And he does NOT CARE FOR THAT!
We are in the midst of one hot as hell summer. The heat index has been up over 100 for about a week now. Good ol' MN weather. Hot as hell in the summer. Cold as the north pole in the winter. While I am a person of extremes in most everything, I do not care for the weather to be as such.
I am in the midst of refinishing a dresser for Owen. It's almost...done! If it weren't so hot all the time it would have been done before now!
We are still transitioning from me being a mostly at-home-mom to me being a mostly working-mom.
O is really into Phineas & Ferb right now. It's a cute show. However, the format is the same for each episode. Ho-hum.
We signed up for Netflix. There are not enough hours in the day for me to watch all the shows and movies I want to see. There are a ton of documentaries in my queue.

And now I need to make a picnic dinner for our kindergarten playdate tonight. Hopefully meeting some of his new classmates will help Owen feel better about going to kindergarten.

Questions...

2011-05-16T18:26:00.002-05:00

Owen is a very inquisitive child. He always has been. Even before he could talk. He doesn't let unknown words sneak by without definition. He wants to know how things work, how they are made, what's in things and where stuff comes from. And he's always thinking on things and making connections to other things. I love this about him and I try to nurture and encourage it.

The other day in the car he was talking about parents and grandparents. And he said, "Grandpa & grandpa are daddy's parents." "Yes," I replied, "they are." And we talked about what their names were and why he calls them Grandpa & Grandpa. (Which I think is so cute. He just can't seem to get the grandma concept down!) Then he asked me who my parents were. And I replied, "Mimi is my parent. She is my mom and your grandma." And then the question I knew, someday, would come. "Who is your dad?" So I told Owen my father's name is Tom. (I don't refer to him as my dad, because in my mind he's not.) And then Owen asked, "Where is he?" And I replied, "I don't know." To which he asked, "Why don't you know." So I told him my father left when I was a baby. It was a brief conversation but one I know Owen spent some time thinking about and storing it for later. That's what he does. I've learned to mostly only answer the questions I'm asked because more information than what is asked is often confusing and leads to more questions that I didn't necessarily want to answer!

I know some day this will come up again. And I know I can't change the circumstances that created how things are, but I'm the one left to answer Owen's questions. And I don't have the answers. I may never have the answers. Which is a hard thing to accept as a parent. Even when the question is as seemingly simple as, "Who are your parents."

In 6.5 hours...

2011-05-04T21:27:00.003-05:00

At 3:50am Owen will officially be 5 years old. Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. He is so excited for his birthday. And for me it is bittersweet. I love the boy that he is and is becoming everyday. I'm amazed at his sense of humor and his cleverness and his empathy and compassion for others. And while he may not be able to recognize or write all of his letters he understands people better than many adults. He knows that a hug and a smile and a gentle touch can mend feelings and brighten someone's day. He knows that an important part of an apology is the forgiveness. And he knows how to crack a joke and make up a funny song. He loves growing up and while he's doing that I keep wanting him to stay small. It's fascinating how two people can have completely different senses of the same time span. I feel like his childhood is whizzing by and he feels like some days take forever. Last Thursday when I told him his birthday was in one week he asked me how many sleeps that was. When I told him it was 7 sleeps he got teary eyed and said, "I can't do that many sleeps! It's too long!" And here we are barely one sleep away. (If he ever goes to sleep!)

To celebrate the eve before his birthday I will share some Owen funnies with you.

On the way to school the other day Owen said, "I am an excellent leader." I asked how he knew this and he said, "Because I've been the leader at school a few times and I was good at it." He then proceeded to tell me he "was peace and quiet." I asked what he meant by that and he said, "I like peace and quiet." I just loved how he declared that he *was* peace and quiet. It made me chuckle because when he *is* peace and quiet it usually means trouble is brewing.

When we had asparagus the other night Morgan broiled it in the oven with a little salt, pepper and oil. Owen had taken a bite of one of the discarded ends prior to being served the cooked asparagus and after he tasted the cooked stuff he said, "I like my recipe better." I asked what his recipe was and he replied, "salt, sugar, medicine and spit." He was really just hoping to eat it raw I think!

Upon receiving a new pair of shoes at Shriner's a couple of weeks ago he declared, "These are 100% running!" He judges any pair of shoes by their speed limit and those clearly passed the test!

I don't think there is anything better than being his mama. The last 5 years have brought many things but the most abundant of it has been joy!

A glimpse of life right now...

2011-04-19T20:36:00.003-05:00

Owen is 15 days from turning 5. Everyday I look at him and marvel and the boy he is and is becoming. On a crash course to being a kindergartener. Wow! How has this happened?He is such a fun kid. Curious and clever and creative. Today he had taken his drawing table apart because he and Daddy were going to build something with the pieces. Daddy wasn't home yet and I wasn't really gung ho about this. Then he decided he'd wait for Morgan to get home and they would make a plan. When Morgan walked in Owen yelled up the stairs, "Daddy! You are just in time!" I heard Morgan tell him he would get the rolling pin and then I saw Morgan coming in from the garage with the rolling pin and twine. I don't know what was *built* but I'm sure it was fun. It is one of my missions as his mama to preserve his curiosity and creativity and that will become more difficult once he enters school. I know how school can work for children who are creative and curious and ask a lot of questions. Sometimes is isn't kind. Some teachers only want children to fall in line and keep to the task at hand. I hope he doesn't get those teachers. I actually hope no one gets those teachers. School can have a dark side. I've seen it as a student and as a teacher.
I'm becoming more working-mama and less stay-home mama. I was offered an additional position at work. Something that will afford me more creativity and more hours. I'm nervous and excited and overwhelmed by the opportunity. I feel like it's something I will regret not trying. I also feel like it's daunting to balance more work into my schedule. A schedule that is always changing.
I've been reading a ton. Averaging 4-6 books a month. Some very good. Some not so good. This week it's Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford. I finished it last night and it is now one of my top 5 favorite books. I started The Paris Wife last night. As attached as I am to real books I really enjoy reading on my Nook.
My creative pursuits have been on the back burner. I've done no scrapbooking for at least 6 months. My craftroom was a dump (seriously) for 5 of those 6 months. I dumped my stuff in there after the last retreat I went on and then things just accumulated and piled up and I didn't do anything creative. Only necessary things like wrap gifts or dig to find envelopes for something or gather supplies for Mom Scouts. I need to get back to a routine of creating something. Even if it is just a mess of something!
I'm so ready for spring. It keeps peeking out and then sneaking away again. My front garden is starting to come up. The bleeding hearts are about 5" tall. The hydrangeas are sprouting leaves and the hostas are all poking through the woods chips. The little purple flowers that come up early have been up for almost 2 weeks now. I have no idea what they are but they are a lovely sight the beginning of April!
We have 7 sunflower seedlings growing in the kitchen. Hopefully the ground will be ready for them in a few weeks! Owen has really enjoyed watching them grow.
I am on week 2 of another cold. Or perhaps allergies. I don't think it's allergies but what the heck hangs around for so darn long. Yesterday I did wake up from a full night of sleep and was able to breathe through my nose again. But it still runs most of the day and I have a cough that is largely unproductive. I think the cough bothers me the most. By 3:30 in the afternoon I have a headache from coughing so much and blowing my nose.
Morgan's new job, which I suppose isn't so new anymore, is going well. I'm immensely thankful for that. He needed a change and it is seeming to suit him nicely.
We are still in the process of finding the right school for Owen for next year. Or hopefully all of elementary school. Spanish immersion seems to be our front runner for which we have 2 choices. One his is currently registered for and seems to be a wonderful school. It is a charter school and the one downfall is that it's 16 miles away. So the transportation will require some creative logistics. The other immersion school is in our district but we are on the waiting list for that and while there is a good chance O will get in we don't know when that may be. I also don't get the same good feeling from there as I do from the other school. Lastly, he's registered at a nice, regular elementary school in a bordering district and also at our neighborhood school. Interestingly, the only one he would be bused to would be the immersion school in the district. This is just another one of those things I have to let go of and it will all work out. Such a hard thing for me to do!
Something super fabulous happened recently. I got back in touch with one of my favorite friends from college. My first semester at River Falls my roommate was from England. She came over with another girl who lived next door to us. The other girl, Jodie, and I got along famously and kept in touch for many years after she went back to England but around the time Morgan and I moved to our house we lost touch. A week or so ago I found her on Facebook. We've had a few chats on there and then on Monday we Skyped! I was so wonderful to *see* her again. We hadn't seen each other, except for photographs, in almost 17 years! Technology is really a wonderful thing!

Something I love...

2011-04-12T17:14:00.003-05:00

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, I love public radio. We are fortunate in Minnesota to have a thriving public radio station. And the reason I love public radio has nothing to do with politics.

One day at church I mentioned something I had heard on MPR to one of the pastors and he flippantly replied, "Oh, the liberals network." I was slightly offended by this comment. First, because I think it represents a narrow minded view of something I value highly (and I don't like narrow-minded people in general). Second, it devalued whatever it was (I forget now) I was talking about. Which brings me to the reason I love public radio, which as I mentioned, isn't the politics. It's knowledge and the exposure to all kinds of it. I don't know if the politics represented on MPR are liberal or not, because I tend to be on the liberal end of the political spectrum. But the majority of what I listen to doesn't have anything to do with politics. (And the people who tell me the politics are liberal are in fact right-wingers, so their opinion isn't unbiased either!)

Last night on the way home from a meeting at church I was listening to MPR. It's generally the only station I listen to in the car because I don't like commercials, on TV or the Radio, and public radio's sponsor messages while actually commercials, are less annoying to me than regular radio. The program being broadcast was Fresh Air with Terry Gross and she was talking to Charles Fishman who is the author of a book called The Big Thirst: The Secret Life and Turbulent Future of Water. I was not able to listen to the whole interview but the part I was able to hear was amazingly informative. One bit of information that really stuck with me was this, "In the U.S., we spend $21 billion a year buying bottled water, and we spend $29 billion a year maintaining the entire water system — pipes, treatment plants, pumps. We spend almost as much on crushable plastic bottles of water as we do maintaining the water system." Where in the US is bottled water actually a necessity? I don't like the way some water TASTES but that doesn't make it undrinkable. And if the money spent on bottled water were put into maintaining or improving the water system wouldn't we effectively eliminate the need or want for bottled water? He talks about how we it isn't an issue of taking our water for granted, because to take something for granted you have to think about it. We are so used to having clean water flowing out of our taps that we don't even think about it. We use safe drinkable water for drinking as well as washing our cars and watering our lawns. Which, if you think about it, is absurd.

You can read about the interview HERE and listen to the whole story online as well. It was interesting and informative and everything I adore about public radio. Because who doesn't want to know more and have a better understanding of what is going on in our world?

Things I love...

2011-03-24T20:37:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it's important (especially during the month of March in MN) to reflect on the things that make a person happy and content. Not necessarily material things, although those will be included in my list, but I also mean *things* in the broader sense of people, places, events, instances and situations.

My boys. Even Ludwig who is currently doing his best to fumigate the house with his flatulence.
Chocolate. Because really, what's not to love?
Spring. It will come, I just need to be patient.
The smell of fresh baked bread.
Being married to a man who bakes the aforementioned bread.
A warm summer night where the temperature and the breeze are just right so you are neither cold nor hot but *just right*. Those are my most favorite summer nights.
Books. I really do love to read and am fascinated by people who don't read. They don't know what they are missing and I feel sad for them. Kind of like how I felt sad for the accounting majors I knew in college. Their subject matter was so boring and I felt sad for them because they spent all their time learning about numbers.
Comfortable shoes. For me they are my Dansko Mary Janes, Asics running shoes and Merrill sandals. At this point in my life all other shoes are not worth wearing and I usually don't.
When Owen tells me he loves me "so much" and that I am the snuggler because I am the softest.
Photography. It's my favorite art form. It's the only way for me to take what I see in my mind of something and put it on paper. I couldn't accomplish that with drawing and painting.
Potatoes. Cooked any way. Even raw, although that is my least favorite. Like chocolate, what's not to love?
Growing veggies in our yard. I love that some of our food has traveled mere yards to our table rather than miles. And knowing that what has gone into the growth of that food is water, sun and some tender loving care. I also love that Owen enjoys working in the garden with Morgan (I like to pick but I'm not much of a gardener).
All-wheel drive. It's seriously awesome.
Being able to stay home (mostly) with Owen since he was born.
Baking. While not the healthiest of hobbies I do enjoy it. And I love to eat what I bake!
My fuzzy blue blanket. My grandma made it long ago and then it was given to me and became so worn that I had to take it apart and make a new patchwork top for it and then sew it all back together. Someday it will be passed to Owen, he loves it too, and he (or maybe his wife) will need to fix it again!
Friends and family who love me despite my quirks.
A clean kitchen.
A supportive and mostly not irritating bra. So hard to find.
When I find clothes that fit me. I don't mind being short. Really, I don't. I mind that the fashion industry tailors clothes for women who are 5'10" and weigh 100 pounds and have limbs 3 feet long. That is like .5% of the population and I honestly don't care if they can't find clothes to fit them, it's time for the little women to come into fashion power!
Recreational fires in the backyard.
When all the laundry is done and put away. I love that feeling of accomplishment.
Good fitness instructors. The classes I attend at the Y are taught by great instructors and that can make all the difference. (Not unlike having good teachers in school!)
This little blog. It contains record of many small but important things that have happened over the last 4 1/2 years and I like that I can go back and read about them.
Music.
Living in an urban area but not in the city. We are close enough but not so close that there are drunks stumbling down the street at 2am. I don't miss that.
Sunshine. Especially when it's barely in the 30's.
Good neighbors. We paid very little attention to the school district or neighborhood when we bought our house and got so lucky.
So many more things that I cannot list!

The many kinds of flour...

2011-03-13T18:15:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before but I don't cook. Wait, I don't like to cook. I WILL cook, if I'm asked or if I have to. But it does not fall anywhere on the list of things I like to do. And I will now publicly admit that I CAN in fact cook, I just find it tediously boring. It requires attention that I cannot devote. It's rather like juggling, which I would like to learn to do, but not with knives. I do however like to bake. It doesn't require as much attention and it involves sugar , and often chocolate, which I'm sure I've mentioned that I LOVE!

Today while rummaging around in the freezer for enough ice to put in my Diet Coke I found a bag of flour, or what I presumed was flour. Now most of our 40 kinds of flour are contained in our pantry cabinet or the freezer downstairs. So I was a bit surprised to come across this lone sack of flour lying in the freezer. It got in the way of the ice cube tray while I was returning it to the freezer and my initial thought was "WTF is this!?" (I've started cussing more in my head because I can't do it out loud. It's rather unlady like and Owen picks up everything now. And while we did briefly consider teaching him to cuss about everything rather than cry so much, we finally decided against it). So I turned it over to find it was Sir Lancelot Flour. Oh, yes, of course. The Sir Lancelot Flour! That we use for...I know, right!? I don't know either! Which brings me to my point (but slow and rambling like. Don't worry, keep reading, I'll get there. I usually do).

When I was growing up we had all purpose white flour. It was used for baking when flour was needed. I think when I was in my early twenties and learned to bake something besides chocolate chip cookies or banana bread I tried out some cake flour. Beyond that I knew nothing about flour. I'm sure I knew about whole wheat flour because I ate whole wheat bread but I didn't bake it. My baking is in line with my philosophy of cooking. I try to avoid it unless it involves sugar and/or chocolate. Recipes for me rarely call for more than all purpose flour or cake flour.

At this point you may be wondering how on earth does this girl eat!? (If you know me personally you aren't, because you know the answer and have probably stopped reading!) I married a man who can cook. Yes, I hit the "girl who hates to cook" jackpot. My man CAN COOK! And sometimes he even makes things I like to eat. And if that weren't a great jackpot in and of itself, he also likes to bake. Mainly bread. He came into this passion around about the time I was doing the Atkins diet. Yes, he's so supportive. I can't recall the exact reason for this desire to bake bread... oh, wait, it's that he likes to sabotage every dietary change I try to make. Okay, not really, but it seems like it! And because a true Holle boy can't go at a hobby half hog he invested in the good stuff as far as supplies go. Which means we have Sir Lancelot Flour. When I asked WTF is Sir Lancelot Flour and why do we have it, he replied that it is a higher gluten flour that helps crusts like pizza crust be crispy. And in my mind I see my celiac afflicted friends wretching at the though of this flour. (I have an over active, highly visual, imagination.) We also have all purpose flour (Dakota Maid), bread flour, whole wheat flour, rye flour, white whole wheat flour, masica and a whole lot of other flour that I don't keep track of because as I mentioned it doesn't apply to my repertoire of recipes. And you may wonder where one would get Sir Lancelot Flour. That would be from Morgan's dealer, I mean the baking supply website of King Arthur Flour. It is a wonderful website devoted to the art of baking. They have gadgets and all kinds of hard to find things like active yeast (that we buy in a pound block) and double dutch process cocoa (which we can't find anywhere in a store).

We are a household devoted to flour. It can be found all over the place. the cupboards, the freezers, and in almost every nook and cranny of our kitchen (because Morgan cooks and bakes like the Muppets Swedish Chef). And on a floor, it's almost as slippery as ski wax (which is another post altogether!).

Sometimes things are bigger than you think...

2011-03-11T06:44:00.004-06:00

One of my pet peeves is solicitors. And to deter the solicitors I have a sign on the door that says "no soliciting". It would say much more than that but Morgan would probably roll his eyes and take the sign down. The sign does a pretty good job. So long as the person knows what soliciting is. Lots of children don't so we get the kids in the neighborhood selling whatever the school fundraiser is. (Which is another post altogether.) The kind of solicitor we get in the neighborhood the most are the tree maintenance companies. They don't ring our doorbell because of the sign. But if I am outside they will get me. Such was the case yesterday. Our neighborhood is filled with huge old trees so I'm sure it's a great place for prospecting. Our yard is probably a bonus as we have two huge trees in our yard that are in desperate need of some trimming. Because of this I always let them look at the trees and tell me what they think and give me an estimate. One of the trees is an Ash and has a lot of dead wood and we knew that at some point it would need to be taken down so I always ask what it would cost to remove it, and I've gotten some really outrageous estimates.

Two days ago there was a guy in the neighborhood drumming up business. He hit up the neighbors across the street which is when I noticed him. At that point I had drawn the shades so I could pretend I wasn't home if the sign didn't deter him. Yesterday the same company was back in the neighborhood to work on the neighbors' trees and while we were leaving to go to Owen's ECFE class they got me. One of the guys approached me as I was backing out of the drive, very polite, gave me their card and said I could call if I'd like an estimate. Of course the moment I got home they were back! So being that I like to hear the trees guys ridiculous quotes I told them to come back in a bit after I got some lunch ready for O.

Back they came to look at the trees and give me an estimate. Surprisingly it was reasonable (in comparison to the other quotes I'd had) and I told the guy I'd talk to Morgan and I'd let him know. We decided to have them take down the Ash tree and trim up the Maple. A few minutes later they got to work. I was thrilled that this was finally going to be taken care of.

Owen was very excited that there was going to be some excitement in the yard and he was thrilled at the prospect of new sticks for his collection. It was a nice enough day that we took our lunch out on the step and watched the climber go to work. I'm sure he appreciated the audience!

After he had trimmed off a lot of the dead wood and was way up high in the tree I realized just how big the tree was. And just how much wood was going to be left behind for us to deal with. (We opted to keep the wood as it was cheaper than having them haul it away and since we have 2 fireplaces and fire pit we thought we could use it). Owen and I went back inside to watch from the safety of the living room. Where O determined he could not see the guy, which was unacceptable, and went back out to the breezeway. He spent the better part of the afternoon watching out the windows and make "compost" in the breezeway. (Also another post!)

While I was getting dinner ready (they had been at the tree of 3 hours now) there was a loud boom and O yelled "MAMA! Come see this!!!" I joined him at the picture window where I saw the tree down in the yard. I hadn't realized they were at that point in the process and I had missed it. Which kind of made me sad.

I think the sadness had actually been brewing while the whole thing unfolded in the yard. First, I had a bit of buyers remorse set in. I don't easily part with large sums of money and paired with having made the decision so quickly, I started to feel sick. Morgan and I hadn't spent a month discussing the decision, which we often do with large expenditures, and then if it's not an emergency or a necessity we usually put it off. Which we would most likely have done with this if we'd given it more time and consideration. Morgan has a price limit on most things, $20 to be exact, and if something exceeds his limit it's not worth it.

(The tree shortly after it came down)

(Owen did find some new sticks!)

After this point I started to feel uneasy and sick. And I wasn't quite sure why. Was it the parting with money? Or just the tree? I felt like what we were spending was reasonable. And the tree was going to need to come down at some point. It had a lot of dead wood and we'd already had some branches come down during storms and it was forever dropping sticks and such. Not to mention it was a squirrel hotel. (Take that rat bastards!) But throughout the evening and night and even when I woke up the morning I felt sick about this. And I think far more than spending the money, it's the tree. I'm sad about the tree being gone. It was a huge tree. It was at least 70 years old. It had been here before our house was. It makes me sad that we cut it down. And I suppose it's rather silly that I'm sad about this tree, but I am. It makes me sad to see it lying all cut up in the yard destined for the fireplace or fire pit. Now it's just a stump. (My personification of this tree is probably sad too!)

I know the money will be replaced and the tree will be cleaned up and we can plant a new one if we'd like. Owen thinks that's a great idea. But for today, and maybe tomorrow, I'm going to be sad for the ash tree. (But not sad that the squirrels have to move!)

Around the house...

2011-03-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

March is my least favorite month of the year. It's long and dreary and gray and I am so ready for spring. When I was pregnant with Owen I swore up and down that I would not have a baby in March. Although having a baby in March would probably brighten it up! It was also the longest slowest month in the academic year and now that I don't teach it doesn't bother me as much as it did while I was teaching.

March is a month that doesn't provide me with much in the way of creative inspiration. I realized I hadn't picked my camera up in quite sometime so the other day I made a purposeful attempt to capture some of the things going on around the house. While they aren't artistic they are still a representation of our daily life.

Owen playing a game on the PBS website.

I believe this was day 3 of a Scrabble game Morgan and I are playing. It's still in progress. I think it's my turn.

Ludwig is also quite ready for spring. He loves to lie in the sun and has had to make due with the sun coming in the front window.

A paper globe waiting to be hung in the dining room with the other two.

Art projects and school papers on the dining room table waiting to be sorted and filed.

Chocolate waiting to be chopped up and used in a recipe for cookies. They have since been made and mostly eaten!

Dishes waiting to be put away. Our dish washer is out of order so this is an almost daily chore.

Owen's room in need of some tidying.

The trimmer waiting to be put away after Morgan's haircut.

I believe this is a Gedesa. I found it at the grocery store. It's a bit like a plum but lighter. I loved the sort of heart shape to it.

I also have some pictures I took during the outdoor adventure Owen and I had at the arboretum after school last week but I will post those another day.

A stack of books...

2011-03-09T08:09:00.002-06:00

I have a little problem. I've had it for a long time. I love books. I like to read and I read a lot. I've always read a lot. Except for perhaps in graduate school where I mostly read what was assigned and not much else. After graduate school I was so happy to read books of my own choosing.

I am not however, a person who loves to collect books. Morgan is also a reader and between the two of us we own a large number of books ranging from religion (Catholic and Lutheran) to juvenile fiction. If we are to include Owen's books that probably doubles our collection. In short, we have no shortage of books. But one rarely rereads books from ones own collection. They are good for loaning to friends but for the most part they take up space and collect dust. Excluding cook books, dictionaries, and gardening books we could probably do without most of our books. That being said I am a faithful devotee of the library. If I can get a book at the library I will. Sometimes I wait for a very long time but it's the price I pay for not wanting to own the book.

For Valentine's Day Morgan gave me a Nook Color. I have several friends with ereaders and even though I like to have a book in my hands I thought an ereader might be a handy sort of thing. I'm also a technology junkie so that contributed to my curiosity. The purchase was painful for Morgan but his desire to do something nice for me overruled his inherently cheap nature. Morgan's philosophy about purchases includes a $20 limit and a trip to the thrift store. Neither of these rules applied to the Nook.

I have enjoyed finding cheap books for my nook and also downloading books from the library. We are fortunate to be in an area with a large library system and it has a nice collection of ebooks. Although I've found they don't have a large number of copies to loan out. As with hard copies they need to purchase the e-version and lend it the way a hard copy is loaned. I thought owning the ereader would remedy some of my wait time for books from the library but I was mistaken.

The ereader has also contributed to a situation I seem to frequently find myself in. The large stack of books waiting to be read on my nightstand. These books are often at various other places in our home but eventually I try to corral them to my nightstand. Once there I am able to see how many books I've amassed and then determine the amount of time I have to read them. Because inevitably there are several that are on request by other people and I generally have a few of these that I've checked out at one time. What happens is I keep a list of books I want to read and then one day I'll sit down at the computer and look them up at the library. Then I make my requests and all of the sudden I will have 4 books waiting for me. So I pick them up. But since I always have a book or two ( or maybe 4) in process I don't get to them right away. And I may have made a trip to the library with Owen where I will have browsed the shelves and found more books to haul home to add to my pile to read. And on top of that will be my Nook with even more books in it for me to read! And if the library and the Nook don't contribute enough to my stack I am also in 2 books clubs and have friends who are readers of good books that lend me the good books to read! And since no one else really reads their books over the ones from friends don't generally have a due by date. Although I try to return them in a timely manner.

Right now here is the stack on my nightstand:

Currently Reading:
Stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers
The art of non-conformity (due in 15 days)
Truth & Beauty (on the nook from the library)

Waiting to be read:
Final Verdict:What really happened in the Rosenberg case (due in 15 days HAVE NOT started!)
Fragile (due in 15 days HAVE NOT started!)
House of Sand and Fog (started but found it slow, no due date as it's from a friend)
The Hunger Games (from a friend as well)
The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (started, lost interest. I think I'm done with the Twilight Saga)
Bringing Jon Home (from the church library!)
The Unfinished Angel
Replay
Spook

Book Club books to be read:
The Paris Wife (hoping to get in electronic format from the library but there is of course a wait!)
Room
Wench
Cutting for Stone
Water for Elephants

On my own wish list (on the Nook):
Major Pettigrew's Last Stand
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
Bonk
Breakthrough
Big Girls Don't Cry
Frank & Eleanor
And 5 other books I've requested from the library!

As you can see I tend to create a bit of stress and drama surrounding the reading of books. And I suppose some of this would be alleviated by owning the books because then I have all the time in the world to read them. I can get to them when I am able to. However, since I don't like to have the clutter of books and I like not spending money on books I choose to keep the stress & drama.

Sometimes it's easier not to read! Which happens too. I fall into a slump and don't read much for months.

It's March!

2011-03-07T21:17:00.004-06:00

Wow! I've written 2 posts this year. Two. And it's March. I'd love to tell you that the year has been filled with amazing and exciting things. We've traveled, we've had amazing adventures and lived life to the fullest. But I can't. The truth is that each day brings the daily stuff that an ordinary life is made of. Meals, chores, laundry, dishes, laundry, dishes (oh, wait, I repeated myself) work, school bedtime wars. But we've also had some great gatherings with friends and family. We've read some good books and I've discussed some of those books. I may have created something but I don't actually recall what it may have been, oh, a paper globe at Mom Scouts, but it's just like the two other ones I have in the dining room. Oh, wait, I have a picture I can share with you!

We had a week of warmer weather and Owen spent several days playing in the puddles in the yard in his green frog galoshes.

One day he fell asleep in his burrow. Which is a corner behind a small couch where he piles couch cushions, blankets and throw pillows. He calls it a burrow.

We've also been trying to decide where O will go to school in the fall. Which would be easy if it weren't for school lotteries. Lovely sort of concept. School choice is really more about having the choice to fill out an application, send it in on time, and keep your fingers crossed that your not yet five year old child's name is picked out of a hat. Incidentally we are #21 and #10 on the waiting lists of two spanish immersion schools. #10 is for the school in our district. O would actually be able to ride a bus to that one. The other one is 18 miles away. ONE WAY! But a really very nice school. He is also #34 on the waiting list for an elementary school in the district south of us. He could of course go to the neighborhood school which is less than a mile away. He would have to walk there. Even in Kindergarten. And that thought brings to mind the statement OVER MY DEAD BODY! Maybe when he's 10 he could walk to school. But only after he's successfully walked to the neighbors house by himself a hundred times. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THINKS A 5 YEAR OLD COULD WALK TO SCHOOL ALONE!? No, there are not, to my knowledge, crossing guards. I can safely say this because in the 9 years we have lived here I have never once seen one. EVER! So the school that would include transportation (other than my car) has a wait list. Nice. Public education at it's finest. You can go to school, and in MN, provided you fill out the application, wherever you like...so long as you provide your own transportation. This however, is not the thing about this process that has bothered me the most. What has bothered me the most is the lottery. I've not seen Waiting for Superman but I've heard that the lottery process is talked about in the movie. Education is a hot issue for me because I'm an educator, but it's intensified now that the parent role has been added to my life. Up until this year I have felt fortunate to have access to the educational opportunities available to us in the school district we live in. The ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) program is wonderful. It is a nationally recognized program. I am not feeling that way about the actual school system Owen will be going through. Perhaps it's their marketing. It's shabby in comparison to other near by districts. And while I feel like the neighborhood school would be fine, I don't want fine for Owen. I want to know the education he gets is going to be good. Great even. Excellent would be best. And I know that a large factor in his success in his education will be our support and advocacy but I want to feel like the school district will be stepping up to the plate too. And I don't feel that. I don't get that impression overall. The principal at the neighborhood school seems great. Enthusiastic, energized, and motivated. He knows the challenges of the population he serves and he's doing things to promote growth and achievement. As a teacher I found it to be motivating. But what does that mean to me as a parent? Maybe I can yet determine that because I'm still at the beginning of the journey. Oh, and it's March. But despite it only being March I've been spending a significant amount of time investigating, touring researching and worrying about where O will go to school 6 months from now! I've spent the last 4 years not planning ahead and now I have to start planning ahead again!

I'm hoping for spring to come soon. Very soon. I'm done with snow and gray and blah winter. I need something to take pictures of!

Cake...

2011-01-13T15:38:00.004-06:00

Is there any more glorious baked good than cake? Okay, cookies are a good rival, but cake really is the most celebrated of baking marvels.

There are countless websites and blogs dedicated to the formulation of recipes, baking of and eating of cake. Cake is beautiful and delicious and everyone has a favorite.

For Christmas I got a set of 9" round baking pans. We have a wide variety of baking pans but no 9 inchers and I have a lot of recipes that call for them. I was excited to try them out but didn't want to put in the time to make a *great* cake so I opted for a dark chocolate mix with dark chocolate frosting.

The pans worked nicely and I am looking forward to using them again for a wonderful cake. The mix cake turned out fine and Owen approved of it! But the best cakes really are made from scratch!

Wordless Wednesday...

2011-01-04T23:34:00.002-06:00

2010 in Pictures...

2010-12-31T11:54:00.005-06:00

I love going back through iPhoto at the end of the year and reviewing pictures. After I review I also delete and archive onto my external hard drive. Which is a good thing because I noticed I'm down to only 10 GB of hard drive space on the computer.

One interesting thing I noticed when I went back through pictures for this post was that the snow seemed to melt fairly early in the year. The picture of the bleeding hearts was from April 19th. A lot of times we Minnesotans feel like the winter goes on and on when in reality I don't think that's the case. My mom would probably disagree with me.

This year seemed to fly by quite fast. And looking back I don't feel like I accomplished much. But on a day to day scale I suppose I did. We were all fed and clothed and arrived in a timely manner to wherever we needed to be. Bills were paid. Laundry done and put away. When ones primary role is to take care of a child and a home and all that goes with that, accomplishments looked at over a year's time can seem quite small. But when looked at closely they are not. At the end of this year we are all happy and healthy and have much to be thankful for.

Simplifying in 2011

2010-12-28T18:06:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about the *stuff* that has accumulated in our home since we moved into it. When we moved in it was just the two of us and we didn't have that much stuff. At least it didn't seem like it we did. Now that we have lived her for 8 years there are things that we have accumulated over those years that aren't being used, take up space, and that I just plain don't like. Books, dishes, toys and varied other junk.

I have read a number of books on clearing clutter, simplifying or down-sizing. One rule of thumb (in variations) that is often applied is don't have things in your home that are not useful, beautiful or bring happiness. As I sit here typing this post there is a stack of magazines 2 feet high in our magazine rack. The ones on the bottom have likely been there since summer. There is another 2 foot stack to my left under the book case. Stacked on the book case are books in front of books because they don't all fit on the shelf. There is also a basket of *papers* that may or may not be important. And a stack of papers on top of the printer that need to be dealt with.

One of the worst culprits of clutter for us is paper or media. Mail, books, magazines, the bulletin from church, newspapers. I receive 2 photography magazines, 1 parenting magazine, and 1 home/craft/lifestyle magazine, 1 scrapbooking magazine and one local magazine a month. So that's 6 magazines per month coming into our home. They don't leave that quickly either. I have all the issues of Martha Stewart that I've received over the last at least 9 years. I keep thinking I might need them. And I do get out the Christmas issues in November and December. We also have a nice collection of magazines downstairs that I've been meaning to go through and tear out recipes and other ideas so I can get rid of the magazines. But then I'm left with piles of magazines pages to organize. And I have a system to do just that. But it just makes work. And then I have to sift through that to find an idea.

Some days I feel suffocated by the clutter. And it's not that our house is over run by it. I am fairly organized. It just seems that there is too much in that organization. Before we went away for Christmas I did all the laundry and put all the laundry away. But I was unable to hang up all of Morgan's pants because I ran out of hangers. We do not have a tiny closet but it is also not a walk-in sort of deal. Morgan's wardrobe takes up roughly 3/4 of the closet space. I take up more dresser space. I'm not sure one man needs 40 shirts. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't wear them all. We each have things we accumulate or collect. I have a collection of rubber stamps I rarely use. As well as dishes from our grandmothers that I feel I can't part with because we may use them someday. Morgan collects coffee cups and has an issue of almost every newspaper he had an article published in when he was a writer.

It's probably this time of the year each year that I feel this way. Burdened by stuff. Things accumulate without us noticing much and then I begin to realize that we need to go through things and clean out and get rid of. I just think this year we need to do it in a more major and thorough way!

Incidentally, I had to leave this post for a few hours during which time Morgan came home, read the post and decided he'd go through his shirts! I can check that off the list!

Awesome giveaway...

2010-12-06T17:03:00.000-06:00

Check out BC Designs a blog by Becky Conley for a great giveaway! And while you are there check out some of her beautiful creations!

A poor neglected blog...

2010-11-29T23:11:00.002-06:00

My poor little neglected blog. If you are a regular reader here (are there any left!?) I apologize! This fall I realized I am a working mama and some things fell by the wayside. My blog was one of those things. I write on it a lot in my head. But I don't think there is good technology for getting my thoughts onto the blog without me having to do more than think about it! And I write really well while I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep. And some nights I'm tempted to get up and write but then I won't get any sleep at all. This night might be going in that direction too.

Owen is busy enjoying preschool and many other adventures that befall a 4.5 year old boy. He's busy planning for Christmas. Mostly wishing for everything he sees. It will be hard work this Advent season directing and teaching him about the reason and meaning of the season rather than focusing on the gifts. It is very important to us that he have some understanding of what the meaning is. It is so easy for children to get caught in the whirlwind of commercialism and want given their self-centered natures already!

He is also loving the snow. Although after tonight it will be mostly gone. We've had about 6 inches I believe but it was warm and rainy today which isn't good for accumulation. It's inevitable now though, there will be more!

Now that Owen is in preschool I am working 3 days a week. It's only 1 day more than I had been working but I had always considered myself a stay home mama with an unimportant part-time job. Now that part-time job, while still part-time, has become much more demanding and important. I am happy to have a job and a boss I like and who appreciates me but I was quite overwhelmed this fall when I realized I was a working mom and I had a lot more to juggle now. Then add a small but growing photography business on top of everything and I was just not prepared with all I had on my plate! It's good preparation for next year when O begin s Kindergarten though. Which I can't believe is going to be happening. Life really just keeps hurdling forward whether we are ready and willing or not.

I am almost a year behind on my scrapbooking. It's not for a lack of trying. It's mostly due to a lack of creativity and time. I've done two retreats this year and that is when I've done all my scrapbooking. The first one in the spring I finished up my pages for 2009 and started on 2010. At the fall retreat I putzed around on 3 mediocre layouts. So not like how I was working on pages last year! And I felt like I had a lot of boring or lack luster photos for pages too. I was just not inspired by the pictures I had. From the pictures I had it appeared we are a rather boring little family! I want to work more on recording memories too which sometimes doesn't involve a photograph. Maybe that will be a challenge for 2011. And maybe 2010 will have fewer and scaled back layouts!

Now that it's past my bedtime I will leave you with a little picture of O enjoying the snow!

A Wish List...

2010-11-23T18:16:00.002-06:00

Today's Mama is sponsoring a giveaway for Game Stop. So here is my Mama's Holiday Wish List.

1. What is your holiday wish for your family? That we are able to enjoy the holidays in peace and quiet with minimal stress and hustle & bustle and focus on the joys of being a family.

2. What is your Christmas morning tradition? Our Christmas morning tradition when we are able to be home for Christmas is to wake-up, open gifts with Owen and then have a wonderful breakfast together. Then we got to Mimi's house.

3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be? As much as I love technology and gadgets I think I'd ask for a family membership to the YMCA.

4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money? I love to bake and make things with my crafty skills using the supplies I already have and share those hand baked and handmade things with others.

5. What games did you play with your family growing up? I loved playing rummy with my grandpa. He was the best to play cards with.

6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood? Our family traditions have changed with the passing of people in my family. But I think what hasn't changed is trying to be with the people who matter most to us.

7. Where would you go for a Christmas-away-from-home trip? A lovely cabin up north somewhere where we could sled and ski and cozy up by a nice fire and read and be together.

8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year? XBox 360, Kinect with Kinect Adventures, and Kinect Fitness Bundle. These are all items we would never buy for ourselves but I think they would be pretty fun if we won them!

One year

2010-09-28T23:06:00.002-05:00

It's been one year since my friend Nikki passed away from leukemia. Not one of those days have I not thought about her and missed her. In the beginning it was a horrible realization every morning. I would wake up and not long after remember that she was gone, and my heart would sink. After awhile I began to know that when I woke up. And my hear would still sink. It was no longer a daily realization but part of the reality of our lives. And I would continue on. Because what else is there to do? But I would still have moments when I had to remind myself that I couldn't call her and tell her what Owen had done that day. Or ask if she and Marc wanted to come for dinner. And gradually I've stopped having those moments. And I no longer cry every day. I can talk about her and tell stories about her and share her with others without breaking down. But there are still plenty of tears.

This quote basically sums up how Nikki touched the lives of everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”

We will never be the same for having known her and loved her. She was joyful and passionate and full of life and she left that with us in our hearts. And while I will always miss her every day I know that where she is she is spreading joyfulness and passion and humor and love.

Must see video...

2010-09-17T16:02:00.002-05:00

The sequel to the Pink Glove Dance! My friend, who is a nurse at the U of M, is in it! And the survivors from MN are in the Walker Sculpture Garden in front of Spoon Bridge that I have posted pictures of before.

I dream of peace and quiet...OR why I stay up way too late...

2010-09-09T12:29:00.003-05:00

When I was still teaching I drove to work listening to public radio or a station that actually played some music in the morning rather than just the chatter of a couple of idiot DJs or hosts as they like to call themselves. On the way home I listened to nothing and tried to breath deeply while driving. Now when I go to work I listen to public radio or music and often the same on the way home. Perhaps that says something about my job. There is a lot less talking involved and I'm only there for 4 or 5 hours at a time.

Teaching was a very emotionally draining job for me. Maybe emotional isn't the right word. Mentally draining. My current jobs (mortgage assistant, mama, wife, homemaker) aren't as mentally draining but they still take something out of me that only peace and quiet can restore. The things is, though, there isn't a lot of peace and quiet in my day. I'm bombarded for most of the day (while I'm home) with Owen's requests for a playmate (me or someone), food (small but frequent portions) or any number of other things that he can think of from turning on a light because he's scared of the dark (even though the sun is streaming in the window of the room) to wiping his butt (we are working on that!). Then there is the dog. He spent a large part of this morning wandering the house whining because he knew Owen had a PB sandwich and he desperately had to have some of it. I hate whining. From all forms of life. Especially my child and my dog. Eventually I let him go downstairs to sniff out the sandwich remains, that I had hid, until he came to his own conclusion that he wasn't getting the sandwich. That dog eats way too much bread. And anything else he can steal off the table.

It seems that most of my life is spent responding to the needs of others. Child, boss, husband, friends. I get a little overwhelmed by how people don't seem to be able to do things for themselves. Getting dressed, printing documents, finding keys or cell phone. I am by no means perfect but I do pride myself on being able to be mostly self-sufficient. Maybe it's because I don't like to rely on other people. Because I want things done the right way so I figure out how to do them myself. Because I don't like to be at someone's beck and call all the time so I'm not going to do that to someone else. I don't mean to sound heartless. I do help Owen when he needs help but I also want him to know that he can turn on a light on his own. Or that he will, at some future date (but soon), be required to wipe his own butt! And I want Morgan to put things in a place where he can find them so I don't have to be called upon to find them for him. The real issue is that he needs to learn how to actually *look* for things and not just survey the scene.

I feel like a lot of my time is spent with some form of chaos and I don't like chaos. I prefer order. Neatness. No unpleasant surprises. So at night, after O is asleep and Morgan has wandered of to bed to read or sleep I find myself wide awake doing whatever I want. Watching episodes of Mad Men one after the other. Enjoying a much to large dish of ice cream. Surfing the internet for creative inspiration. Reading a book uninterrupted. I love these moments of solitude. I sometimes day dream about them during the day. It's kind of like the carrot that keeps me going. Unfortunately I pay for these late nights the next day. When I can't drag my butt out of bed or get motivated to get anything done.

I'm hoping that once O starts preschool we will find a better balance of all the things our family needs. More playtime and learning for Owen with people his own age. More peace and quiet for me.

I guess this is the nature of an introvert raising an extrovert!

Random...

2010-08-31T13:27:00.002-05:00

I found this website with a bunch of journaling prompts and while I think they would be awesome for some scrap pages I also thought they would make good blogging material! These are just the first 4 on the list.

Where did you live as a child – town, country, suburb, etc. I grew up in a tiny suburb of Minneapolis that grew as I did. At one time there was farm land around us but that is mostly gone now. It is also the town and house that my mom grew up in. There are lots of memories in that place.

What is your greatest joy? Your greatest sorrow? My greatest joy would be Owen and motherhood. Motherhood is something that you cannot explain to someone who isn't a mother and until you do it you don't understand. I think marriage is similar! My greatest sorrow would be the loss of loved ones. Especially Nikki.

What do you feel has been the most significant world events that have taken place in your lifetime and why? Well, the things I remember the most are:

the explosion of the space shuttle in 1986. I was in the sixth grade and the entire grade was at a winter camp up north in MN. I remember our teacher coming in and telling us. I was sitting on the top bunk writing in my camp journal.
Princess Diana dying in 1997. I was home on summer break from school before going back to do my student teaching.
The September 11th attacks. I was in a staff meeting when it happened and we found out after the meeting while students were arriving at school.
The election of President Obama.

Describe your yard as a child. As I mentioned I grew up in the house my mom grew up in. When I was younger there were more trees than there are now. Many of these have died or had to be cut down. It was a huge yard. It's not as huge to me now! My great uncle lived with us and we would sit in his car after he came back from work eating fruit that he had brought home under the big pine tree by the driveway. It was a wonderful yard for playing in and even though our house was on a busy street it was always a safe place to play because there was so much room. It makes me happy that Owen gets to play in the same yard as a child.

Creative style...

2010-08-17T23:51:00.002-05:00

According to this quiz, for me, creativity is a release. I would tend to agree.

For you, creativity is first and foremost a form of expression: it creates a special link between the internal and external worlds. It allows you to get a grasp of your powerful emotions, by molding them into a physical form. In fact, the most important thing for you is to be able to release your emotions. You need to be able to touch them or look at them in concrete form, and to do that you have to find a way to make them come alive. This is how your desires and anxieties take shape. Keeping things bottled up creates a tension that can only be resolved once you have expressed how you feel. This means you have to be strong enough not to let yourself get swept away by chaotic impulses; if you turn your creative urges on everyday life — making a picnic, singing to the baby, choosing what to wear — you can express yourself while staying rooted in reality. Creativity is principally cathartic. It relieves a deep need, an almost primal, archaic impulse. For you, being creative is about having the power to give form to something you feel, to those deep personal issues that are often raw and disorganized. For these reasons you are usually attracted to art that demands physicality, that allows you to express what’s inside, and that unites spontaneity, strength, freedom, power and movement.

Funny stuff...

2010-08-03T22:45:00.002-05:00

I think I've mentioned before that I love Owen at 4. He's funny. He says funny things and does funny stuff. Although he talks about butts and farting and poop a lot.

The other day he and Morgan were making a trip to the potty while we were at a restaurant and he said to me, "We'll be back in a jippy mom!" A jippy! I loved that.

On the way to a friend's house last week we were chatting while in the car and he said, "When I grow up I can be a mailman, a doctor and drive a car." I said, "yes honey, you can do all those things if you'd like." I grew up being told I could be anything I wanted to be "even and Indian Chief". I don't know where my mom came up with that but I knew she meant I could do whatever I wanted to do. Unfortunately I let some fear and some outside influence limit me and I think I may have done a few other things had I had a little bit more confidence to do them. Like study abroad or dance more or take some art classes.

I love how cheerful Owen is. Most of the time anyway. Yesterday he wasn't so cheerful. He was mad because we couldn't go to Donald's (Mc Donald's) after the eye doctor. We had to get home and have a quick lunch before my sister arrived and I had to go to work. I explained that we had food at home and we would eat there. Except that he was "so-so-so-so hungry" and wanted to go to a "quick drive-thru" rather than eat at home. This kind of set the tone for things. He got mad because I asked him to close the car door before he came in the house, which he didn't do, and ended up having to go back out and do that. When he came in he was just too tired to move and ended up laying on the floor in the kitchen. He couldn't possibly get up on the chair to eat and started throwing a fit so he ended up sitting in his room crying while I ate lunch and he threw a fit. My sister arrived while he was still carrying out his drama in his room. When I went in I told him Naunee was here and asked if he was done to which he replied, "yes, I'm done crying now". He came out and ate his lunch. Shortly after I got home from work he decided he was starving again and brought me a banana that he wanted made into a smoothie. I asked if he could just eat the banana and he said no. So I got out the blender and together we made a nice strawberry -banana smoothie. I put it in two glasses and put his on the table for him. He sat down and said, "I want a banana to eat with my smoothie." I said, "No, we are not eating a banana too. You wanted a smoothie with the banana so I made a smoothie. Now drink the smoothie." "But I'm hungry too. I need something to eat while I drink my smoothie!" "No, we are just having smoothies." The crying began and the whining about how he's so-so-so-so hungry AND thirsty! I told him he could drink the smoothie that we made, which he HAD TO HAVE but that wasn't good enough. More crying ensued so I carried him to his room and on the way he wails, "Not again!" I went back out to the kitchen to get his smoothie so he could cry and drink it in his room and while I was leaving his room he says, "MAMA! Don't forget to close the door!" These things drive me nuts and make me laugh at the same time. I swear sometimes he's a little bit crazy.

This morning at 2am he comes into our room and says, "I'm so hungry guys!" Like we weren't doing anything in our room besides lying there waiting to serve whatever need he had! He gets this starving gene from Morgan and since Morgan can't go hungry for more than a nanosecond he always gets him something to eat or drink. Or makes sure I do it if it's 2am. So I got him a snack and some juice and put it in his room. After he ate it he came and crawled into our bed. He laid there for 15 minutes and said, "I want some water please." So Morgan fetched him some water. 15 minutes later he says, "I want something juicy." So Morgan got him more juice!

But he really is quite cheerful and friendly. Today we were at a friend's house and the neighbor came home. Owen's friend was saying hi to the neighbor and Owen hollers over, "I'm Owen! Hi! I'm Owen!" I just love watching his personality and sense of humor and his sense of self developing.

A little cuteness...

2010-07-27T22:10:00.003-05:00

Last week Owen and I had a little time to kill while my phone was being looked at (again). We wandered around the outdoor mall not too far from us. I love that place, but not in the winter. How or why anyone decided these would be great to build in MN I'm not sure but they don't seem to be doing too poorly.

While out and about we wandered into Anthropologie where I found this cute little 4x6 album on clearance.

I didn't NEED it but it was so cheap I couldn't pass it up. Almost thrift store priced! I am going to fill it with photos from our summer.

It was hotter than hades here today with tropical dew points and humidity. We spent the morning at the splash park with some friends. O had PT this afternoon and then a swimming lesson this evening. He has not been excited about swimming lessons at all this summer. NOT EXCITED. He's missed more of them then he's attended I think and he only had 4 left so we decided he had to attend these last 4. Last week he got so upset about having to go he threw up. Which pretty much cemented the deal in his favor. This week we prepared him well in advance. We started the preparations last week on Thursday! It probably didn't help that I wouldn't remember that he had a lesson until Morgan got home and asked if he was ready to go. To which I replied, "where?" That mostly has to do with me not knowing what day it is on a regular basis! A hazard of only working 2 days a week and it being summer. This week I took him to the lesson and we arrived early enough that he could play in the wading pool before his lesson and "warm up". He still got a little pouty but I kept encouraging him and reassuring him. When it was time for the lesson we took him to the instructor who seems very nice and left him sitting on the edge of the pool with him. The lesson went fine and he had a great time! We still don't know what all the apprehension was about but hopefully he's over it. I still find it baffling. He loves being in the water and does quite well with holding his breath and diving under and all that stuff that I dislike about swimming! Just three lessons left! Which I will have to set an alarm on the computer to remember!

Why I'm afraid to leave the house some days...

2010-07-20T07:22:00.002-05:00

Last night I watched the news. I don't do it often, but occasionally I decide I should know what's going on. I usually only watch one station's news program because two of the other three are alarmist and the the third one is okay I just don' much care for it. Sometimes I flip around to see if there is anything special. But mostly I just like the one station.

Last night's lineup was like this:

Car crash involving a family in a van hit by a woman who was most likely drunk and/or high who crossed the median (a wide grassy area). An 11 year old boy was killed and his father was seriously injured. His mother and sister were physically unharmed.
A standoff between cops and a suicidal guy armed with knives in a Super 8 Motel results in the man being shot and killed.
A follow-up (or retelling) of a crazy guy who shot and killed his sister, brother-in-law and niece, and wounded his other sister who only survived because she pretended to be dead. His explanation to cops, "I just snapped."

I do not pretend to understand mental illness. People deal with all sorts of things that I can't and don't understand. Serious scary things. I just don't think (in two of the cases) that senseless violence is the answer. But I guess when you have lost your senses that's the kind of violence that results.

The news is disheartening to me. It can put me in a funk for days. As can cop shows or other shows whose subject matter is the suffering or unhappiness of others. I suppose I should be thankful that at 36 I am still sensitive to these things rather than able to turn a blind eye or be callous about it. I know good things can come from suffering. But why does there have to be so much of it?

Marthas and Marys...

2010-07-18T22:34:00.002-05:00

The passage for the Gospel reading at church today was from Luke chapter 10 verses 38-42.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one this is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her."

I am familiar with this story. It is one of the Bible's most popular stories and you don't need to attend a church regularly to have heard it. It was the focus of the sermons for today. And while the pastor was preaching two thoughts occurred to me with regard to this passage.

1. Eat dessert first. "...chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her." Don't tell me this doesn't apply to dessert!
2. I am missing important things in Owen's childhood. "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one this is needed."

It a lot of ways a childhood is like sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening. It only lasts for so long. The innocence and and awe. The fascination and amazing observations a child makes. Those don't last a lifetime. The memory of them, the knowledge learned will last but the moments of childhood are fleeting. I think this hit me like a ton of bricks. Especially when the communion distribution started and there was a steady stream of people over 65 going up and down the aisles. Life itself is fleeting. We are here for only a brief amount of time and that time is all we have to enjoy this life and the moments we have in it.

During these "revelations" I realized that I tend to be too much of a Martha and not enough of a Mary. I am so enjoying Owen being 4. He is so clever and funny. He makes me laugh the laughs that feel so good. Just by being who he is. He makes brilliant observations and carries on interesting conversations. He really is a marvelous little boy. And already 4 years have gone by! I've been trying to pay attention. Record the moments and memories, documenting them in my journal to him and in his scrapbook and with countless photographs. I want him to see himself as a child when he is no longer one. In the midst of this, his childhood, I also work and try to run a household and try to run a tiny business and lead a life of my own too. It's a tough balance between Martha and Mary. Owen will not grow up and wonder if the house was always clean. He may have a vague recollection (or not so vague) of me putting things in the their place and trying to keep up our house but his childhood being happy or not does not depend on that. He will however, remember the time we spent together. Or the time not spent together.

Even before Owen was born I knew what I wanted his childhood to be like. Innocent, happy, sheltered, enjoyed, care-free. I've always wanted for him to be able to look back on his childhood and feel like it was good. And remember countless things about it that were good and enjoyable and fun and spent with us. I know I am not a perfect mama and I'm not going to be. I make mistakes and will continue to do so. I acknowledge that. But Owen's childhood happens once and I want him to feel that he was loved and cared for and enjoyed. I wish I could slow it down. That each day would take 48 hours rather than 24. But I won't get that. I want him to stay 4 forever. At least for now. I'm sure in a few years I will tire of wiping his butt! But my point is that the time we have together is moving so fast that if I don't take the time to spend with him, to really enjoy that time, it will be gone and I don't get it back. Ever. So this week I'm going to try harder to add a little more Maryness to my Marthaness. There is always something that needs to get done. Maybe this week those things will lose some of their importance.

Wordless Wednesday...

2010-07-06T23:26:00.002-05:00

Panoramas...

2010-07-05T04:50:00.004-05:00

While we were in Montana last week we took a short trip through Yellowstone National Park. The views there are amazing and I took a bunch of shots with the intent to create some panoramas because Yellowstone is a place where one image rarely captures the view, regardless of how wide a lens one uses. (If you click the images you should be able to see them larger.)

Life with a 4 year old...

2010-06-22T21:28:00.002-05:00

These are pretty good examples of what I get when I try to take pictures of Owen lately.

On both occasions the light was near perfect. In the first one I knew just by the light that I would get awesome catch lights. I could see them in O's eyes while we were sitting outside chatting. I told him I was going to get my camera and take some pictures of him. Just a few. I even offered him a dollar, which he was pretty excited about. Until he realized I actually wanted him to look at me for the picture and I was going to take more than one. Then he wanted his camera (my little P&S) to take pictures of me. I consented to this but he still was uncooperative. I did get a couple other cute ones but none with the catch lights like the first one.

The second picture I took at a local park in the evening. Perfect evening light. But again, Owen was not happy about having his picture taken and I got mostly monster faces, roaring faces, or him simply turning his head. I would like to do his four year portraits but I don't think he will cooperate long enough for me to get anything good! I may just end up using the first picture in this post.

I am amazed at all the things Owen is curious about lately, the questions he asks and his active and creative imagination. He's always asking or saying or doing something that is fun or fascinating. Tonight it was about testicles. He was under the impression that pee was stored there. I told him his pee was kept in his bladder that was up into his body. Then of course he asked what testicles were for. I told him he didn't really need them until he was older. Truthfully, since I don't have testicles I don't know what all they do! I guess I'll have to google it!

We are leaving for Montana on Saturday morning. We are flying out and driving back. Morgan's parents are giving us their old car. It will replace mine, which we are donating to an automotive repair training school. It seems their is a sensor or something in the transmission that has gone awry. So the car runs fine it just doesn't "go". We could repair it but we were planning to replace one of our cars with Morgan's mom's car anyway, we just didn't know when or which car. So this has decided it.

And it turns out or dish washer wasn't broken after all! It just overloaded the motor and need time to sit and reset it self. Thank goodness. We like having a dishwasher!

When it rains...

2010-06-13T20:29:00.002-05:00

Figuratively and literally around here lately. It's been a dreary, gray, rainy week. Not much for lifting the spirits. I noticed it's been a month since my last post. My how time flies. And my debbie downer mood continues.

This week...

Was (would have been) Nikki's 31st birthday. 30 years is far too short a life for such a vibrant person. I continue to miss her terribly every single day. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. It chokes me to just to think of her being gone and some days I wake up and realize all over again she is gone. Like it's a brand new realization.
Morgan found out he didn't get a job he interviewed for. We were really hoping for this one.
The transmission went out on my car on the way home from my book club meeting in the middle lane of a very busy, major freeway in Minneapolis. Fortunately Owen was not with me. It was not fun. Tow truck service is not cheap. Thank goodness for a little reimbursement from the insurance company.
The dishwasher broke yesterday.
My boss was out of town Wed-Sat but luckily that did not bring the usual "all hell breaking loose" that is often does.
Did I mention my car??? Yes, I do believe I did. I love my car. Even though it's 11 years old and missing a few minor parts. She even has a name. Betty. She's been a great car but this may be the repair that we can't afford to make.

You know how sometimes bad things happen in threes? I'm sort of waiting for the last shoe to drop. Maybe I have bad karma or something.

My craft room is in major need of a thorough cleaning. I'm sure there's a crap-ton of stuff that could go. Come to think of it, there is a crap-ton of stuff around the whole house that could go. Owen's closet would be a good place to start. 4 years of clothes takes up a lot of space. It's messy enough that even Owen commented on it. Probably because he sees it as a place that has potential for being a great place to play. I did do a thorough cleaning of the underneath of our bed. Morgan didn't find the aftermath pleasant. Mainly a laundry basket of crap in his office for him to go through that had accumulated underneath and on his side of the bed. I think he believes areas that are out of view are unnecessary to clean. They aren't bothering anyone. EXCEPT ME. He didn't add that part but I'm sure he thought it. There is a reason why I do most of the cleaning around here. If I didn't there would be all manner of places that he would miss. Baseboards. Shelves. The crevices around the door frames that collect bits of dirt and dust. It's the kind of work that only a very conscientious, borderline obsessive compulsive is capable of doing well. Toys would just be tossed in a random bin! Clothes would not be in order in the closet or facing the right direction. There is order to be maintained. It's how I maintain a little control of a life that is mostly out of my control. Much to my dismay.

So that's life in a nutshell. Hopefully I'll have more to write about in the next month. Maybe some things that are happy. I need to wrap my head around a more positive attitude. I don't generally think of myself as a pessimist but I've been feeling like that for awhile now. I get overwhelmed by all the "adult" things in life sometimes. It's a lot of work and responsibility to be a grown-up. Some days I'd just rather not be one.

A paradigm shift...

2010-05-12T15:07:00.003-05:00

In life I don't think it's uncommon for people to grow and change in their beliefs and faith. Ones outlook on life changes in relation to or in response to their experiences, events that occur and simple maturity. It wouldn't be living if we didn't change.

I'm not opposed to change. To quote my mother, it's the only thing constant in life. I am however, somewhat resistant to it. I like things to stay the same. The weather. My weight (if I can get to a comfortable weight!). My mood. The mood of others. All of this relates to my love of stability and structure and routine. I don't like the unexpected. Happy surprises are wonderful. But even those can be unnerving and disappointing sometimes. And I like to be in control of the change too. (Go figure).

In the past year there have been changes in my life that I haven't been happy about. Changes that have affected my outlook on life. And my faith. I know and believe that God is working in our world. And I want to see those things and believe in that. But when change that shakes one to the core happens, it is difficult to look at the world in the same way as before that change.

It's been almost 8 months since Nikki died. And it tears me apart to type that. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her and feel anger toward God for not healing her. I am not a person who believes that God takes people from us. I know bad things happen and it isn't the result of some greater plan written down before we were born. But that doesn't help with the anger and resentment about her being gone. Or how to reconcile that she is gone with my faith.

One source of comfort and inspiration I have found is the former senior pastor at our church. He is battling cancer again. He had lymphoma in 2008 and it was found to have come back during one of his routine check-ups. I am amazed at his strength and his faith as he battles this disease. And I am disappointed in myself at not being able to be as resilient. After all I have not suffered with this. Just with the loss.

I came across this piece of wisdom on a blog I follow. It is maintained by a woman who lost her husband to cancer.

"Every day is truly a gift. The day after isn't guaranteed. Life is precious and uncertain and too special to be wasted."

And isn't it the truth. We don't know what tomorrow or even the next hour will bring. And it is wasteful to waste the time we have when we should be doing what we love and being with those we love. And approaching the world from a place of love and peace and grace that can only come when we fill our hearts with these things. And that is so hard to do when we live in a world filled with so much loss and senseless violence and selfishness and greed. And so many other things that are useless. It often seems that the evil and profane and sad things dominate our society. They certainly dominate the news!

I have for a long time lived in a bit of a bubble. I don't want to know about a lot of the things that are happening in the world. It saddens me. And often does for days. So I don't watch the news and I rarely listen to anything other than public radio and only certain times of the day. I protect myself from what I don't want to know. And while this may seem rather naive it often seems to be necessary for my own sanity and self-preservation. And what has been so difficult since Nikki died is protecting myself from the grief and sadness that her absence has brought. It's not possible to do. And thus I am forced to learn to deal with this. And it's so very hard. But it is changing the way that I live each day. And for that I am thankful.

The contents and a treat...

2010-05-04T21:38:00.004-05:00

Noelia posted a fun little post about the contents of her purse. I enjoyed this little bit of voyeurism so I thought I'd share mine with you. (It needed a good going through anyway!)

From top left:

My handy notepad. I can't be without one.
Cash from my last portrait session waiting to be deposited at the bank.
A Trader Joe's receipt, a list of reminders and under those the coupon for Owen's free birthday ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery.
Tissue
My funky pink wallet
My phone
A little bottle of TUMS
Burt's Bees Tinted lip stuff
My funky coin pouch that I use to hold my calculator and various business card sized cards. (My sister made it for me!)
My other cute notepad and pen. (A gift from my friend BJ) I have a list of books in it right now.
Pill keeper that needs to be refilled
A tape measure. Another item I cannot be without.

And speaking of Trader Joe's, I have a little treat I need to share. These are my current favorite chocolate obsession.

Tiny little peanut butter cups one can eat by the handful. A dangerous thing in our house! But they are delightful!

Some days you're the windshield...

2010-04-21T20:26:00.004-05:00

and some days you're the bug. Here's a little list of the events that transpired today:

Owen threw a fit this morning because his Cheetoes were gone. (I guess he had some leftover from dinner last night but he left them on the table and Morgan ate them.)
Owen let himself outside through the front breezeway door. Buck naked. He told me his puppy was watching him and keeping him safe. (Right. Ludwig is NOT a watch dog. Well, he is. But only because he watches things happen.)
During our hike with friends at the bog Owen threw a huge fit because his feet got wet. Yup. In a bog. Where there is water. Which he saw and stepped in. You would have though something had bit his feet off at the ankles by the way he carried on. I just walked past him. I know, I'm such a sympathetic mama.
While we were sitting outside this afternoon with my mom, who stopped to visit, a bird shit on me. The whole world is their latrine and one of them chooses to shit right on my shoulder.
After my mom left I took O into the bathroom to use the potty and he peed on the floor because he was not aiming. He likes to pee hands free and evidently his penis was stuck in the down position. Those penises cause more problems.
Before getting ready for bed Owen threw up on the carpet in the living room.

Bright spots in my day:

When my friend Carrie called this morning and heard Owen screaming in the background (about not having Cheetoes) she asked if I needed to come over. A friend without children would have hung up.
Hiking with Carrie & Kim and their boys. Because the melt down in the bog would have been worse if it was just me and Owen. Seeing all our boys with sticks in nature. So fun.
Carrie (our neighbor) calling to see if Owen wanted to come down and play with her son. Which he was thrilled to do. And I got to come back home and take a nap.
Morgan getting Owen ready for bed while I put dishes in the dishwasher. Not my favorite activity but there were no tears involved in it.
Mimi stopping by to visit. (And witnessing the bird incident)
A diet coke with fresh lime.
The sunshine and warm temps.

It's days like these that I wonder what possessed me to leave my teaching career to stay home. But I know it's still the right thing. Even if it involves days like these. And I'm so thankful for the bright spots.

(P.S. Normally I proof my posts for typos and poor grammar. I'm tired. I'm not doing it tonight. If there are errors that's too bad. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes. And chances are, so do you.)

RIP my beloved Coke glass...

2010-04-18T20:08:00.003-05:00

This is my beloved Coke glass from which I often drink my diet coke with a wedge of lime. It is my favorite glass. And it is an only. Was an only. It used to have a mate but that one suffered at the hands of Mr. Butterfingers. (AKA Morgan)

It is with a sad and heavy heart that I write. These pictures are of the last diet coke I would drink from my beloved glass. While Morgan was hand washing my glass it broke. (I never hand wash it!) I was just on my way out the door for a portrait session appointment and I was gape mouthed. I couldn't believe it had happened. And never could Morgan. Of course he was apologetic. He knew it was my favorite glass. And while it is only a glass, it reminds me that I need to enjoy the everyday moments in life. We never know when they will be last moments.

RIP my beloved coke glass. I will miss you. (Although I will be on the look out for a replacement!)

A glimpse...

2010-03-25T17:11:00.003-05:00

Right now...

it's 37˚ outside but sunny. A bit of a brisk day but I'll take it. There's not snow.
Owen is playing and pretending with his R2D2 robot he got in his lunch today at Donald's.
Lentils and brown rice are simmering on the stove for dinner. Which will be paired with broccoli.
I'm wearing jeans. Which I stared doing after I found a perfect pair. These are not "the perfect" ones, but still comfy. It's a step away from my standard black with a stretch waist.
I'm looking forward to Bingo Night with some mama girlfriends. We have some drinks (me-diet coke with a lime) chat about life, and play bingo.
today we bought seeds to grow in the garden. 2 kinds of pumpkins. I'm sure Morgan will be thrilled. 2 kinds to find room for.
planning for new carpet in the breezeway. I found samples today at Home Depot.
after I'm done writing I am putting new knobs on Owen's closet doors. Hopefully these will stay on.
thinking about losing weight. I think about it a lot. I don't do much about it. But I'm thinking about doing something about it. It's a start.
wondering how the dog got back in the house because I don't recall letting him in. But maybe I didn't let him out when we got home.
wondering if it's normal to have so much memory loss at 36.

Now for the door knobs.

Inspiring...

2010-03-19T14:26:00.004-05:00

There is something fantastically inspiring about the work of Tim Burton. I am really looking forward to seeing his interpretation of Alice in Wonderland. It has been one of my favorite stories since I was a child.

I love the bright but antiqued feel of the characters. The attention to detail in the costumes and set. And the dry and dark humor that always exists in his films. Hopefully it will be a winner at the Oscars next year!

A little right now randomness...

2010-03-08T16:59:00.003-06:00

I am trying to decide on a photograph to exhibit at an art crawl that my mom's company is hosting. There isn't a space limit really but I don't want to print a ton of pictures or frame a ton. So I've been trying to narrow it down. And then decide on what size to print and how to mount or frame them. Sheesh! I took a little poll on facebook (of the ones below) and basically came up with the dandelion or the leaf. And I think I'm going to do a standout mount on foam board. My finisher is having a sale starting tomorrow so I can save some money on the mounting and go without a frame! I think the dandelion will look real nice at 16x24 or so.

Owen had botox in his calf muscle last week. Now we have intense PT appointments for the next 9 weeks to develop the strength in that muscle. Since this is his first round at the botox the dr. used a fairly low dose to see how it worked for Owen. The appointment went well and the physical therapist was happy with the increased range of motion he had today.

Our day was fairly busy today. PT in the am, lunch with Mimi. A little shopping with Mimi and Naunee and then a haircut. To my amazement I found a pair of jeans that seem to fit me perfectly. Not too tight or too loose in the waist and they are the right length. Which is the most amazing part. It seems I need petite-short jeans. Which I didn't even know they made! And I say "seem" to fit perfectly because jeans can change after they've been on for a bit. We'll see how they work. Oh, and the best part is they were on clearance for $7.00. That's better than thrift store prices!!! After our shopping I took Owen for a haircut. Amazingly he sat still and made polite conversation with the stylist and got a nice haircut. I was very impressed. When I cut Owen's hair it's a disaster. He will not hold still for me for anything. And I've tried all forms of bribery! And now we are enduring the "witching hours" from 4-6pm. When a boy who doesn't nap anymore, but could use a nap, can go from pleasant and calm to a complete meltdown in a matter of seconds and for any reason. And I can be just plain witchy if there is meltdown behavior! So we try to do things that are low stress and are the least likely to cause a meltdown or any crying (for either of us!)

We are anxiously awaiting spring. Hoping for no more snow. And a slow thaw. Parts of MN are susceptible for serious flooding and that is never good. Fortunately we are not in one of those areas. But we do live by a lake so I get a little worried about it. However, we had so little precipitation last summer and fall that the lake was very low. Hopefully the snowfall we've had will fill it back up!

Roses...

2010-02-18T19:37:00.007-06:00

For Valentine's Day Morgan gave me roses. Actually, a couple days before. But it counts. I didn't ask how much he paid. Hopefully not a lot. I hate that "hey, let's mark flowers up for V-day" thing. It's wrong. But the flowers are beautiful and have lasted quite nicely. After yesterdays short lived photo shoot I decided to practice on the flowers. Which have nothing in common with the moving subject I try to practice with! (If you click on the images you can view them bigger. Which is even better!)

This last shot was a happy accident. I had my exposure set wrong for my aperture and got this really over exposed shot but I liked how it turned out anyway.

Red roses are a tricky flower for me to photograph. Red is not a color that my camera easily reproduces. It generally turns out too orange. I end up tweaking the colors in PSE to get them right. Which is something I struggle with. Not the task of fixing but having to do it. I want all my work to be good straight out of the camera. But I think in reality that's not going to happen. Camera sensors aren't as sensitive as the human eye and lighting is rarely perfect. So the chances of things being the way I actually see them is not always high. So thank goodness for Photoshop!

As some of you know I dabble in other arts and crafts. Scrapbooking, knitting, collage art, sewing, jewelry making and have in my life painted, potted and blown glass. I like to use my hands to make stuff!!! But it wasn't until photography that I found my artistic voice. I was talking about this with a friend not too long ago and started thinking more about it. I've always loved photography but didn't really explore it as an art form until we got a digital camera. ***(below thought goes here)***And the main reason is I didn't want to invest so much money in trial and error and the learning curve. Film and the dark room. Rarely do I do things (arts and crafts wise) on a small scale. I didn't have the time or the access to take photography classes in college so it was just not something I ever pursued. Which is the beauty of digital photography. It is so much more accessible now. Which some people find positive and others find appalling. When I start something I like to learn all about it and while the learning curve has been at times frustrating and confusing it has also been very accessible. There are tons of books to learn from, great websites, many of which are filled with lots of knowledgeable people who are willing to answer questions, provide critique and technical support when necessary. Everything I've learned about photography I've learned from practice, trial and error and exploration. It is counter to how I would prefer to do things (I'd rather go back to school in the comfort of a classroom with a trained professional!) but it has forced me to be resourceful and creative and I've gained so much more because of that.

***EDITED*** (To include the part I was really going to write about before I started rambling!)
So my artistic voice. Oh yeah, that, which is what I was going to write about before I got distracted by my own rambling. (And now I'm distracted by how loud the keyboard is at 12:45am!) In any art that I have explored/pursued I strove for perfection. Art+perfectionism=not good. I could never quite get whatever I was creating to look like what I saw in my mind's eye. And I couldn't accept the end product. In high school I used to paint but I stopped because I just couldn't get it right and I would mess with a painting until it was indeed an actual mess. (Which some would consider art). But photography is different. I can photograph what I "see". And I LOVE that. Really love it. And if I don't get what I see in the image I do it again. And again. And sometimes 200 agains. And I am not wasting film or chemicals or paper or even digital space. And after I photograph what I see, I can play with it in Photoshop and make it something else. Or add some text. Or crop it or blow it up. Photography is creating art as perfectly as I can. And because I have that outlet for my perfectionism I can accept less than perfect in my other arts and crafts. Although, the flaw in one of the wash clothes I knitted still bothers me when I take a bath. Seriously people, I have issues!

Practice...

2010-02-17T12:13:00.002-06:00

As a photographer I am continually trying to hone my skills. But to do that I need subjects. And it's not always easy to find willing ones. I tried to recruit, okay bribe, Owen to help me out today. But as you can see he wasn't that willing.

And while the picture isn't bad, technically it's a good picture, I know it's not HIS best work! He was a very unwilling subject despite my promises of candy. And I am not as patient with him as I am with other people's children. For example, I would not say to a client's child, "just look out the window and hold still!" And I wouldn't allow a clients child to play with their Buzz doll the entire time either. Or yell, "MAMA!!! I'm just trying to pew here!!" We don't work well together.

So I resorted to subjects that are a lot easier to control. Thank you Woody and Buzz you were great! I will get you some really nice candy the next time I'm at the store!! Just don't give any to that uncooperative child you play with.

Frosty morning...

2010-02-14T21:39:00.004-06:00

Saturday we woke to beautiful sparkly snow that only happens a few times in the winter. The trees and bushes and fences were all covered with it. Owen and I traipsed around the yard for almost an hour taking pictures. Here are a few of the images I captured.

I am a little bit obsessed with snowflakes. Images of them anyway. I love the work of Wilson Bentley. Although I'm not as obsessed as he was. And I like to capture them in a natural environment rather than individual flakes.

After I was done taking pictures of the snow he let me chase him around and take pictures of him. He usually holds still for about 2 and then it's a crap shoot as to whether I'll get anymore. Although it's blurry, the last one was my favorite.

Bathroom art...

2010-02-08T09:33:00.003-06:00

Recently we repainted the bathroom. Here is a picture of it, sans decor.

You can't really tell in the picture but the paint color is not white. It's called rose dust. It has a subtle pink tint to it. White was just to stark next to the beautiful pink tiles. (Yes, that's sarcasm you detect). The wall with the mirror (where it's lower and indented) and the ceiling of the shower used to be a burgundy like the accent tiles. The rest of the walls were white with flowers painted on them. At first I liked the flowers. There was a bathmat that matched them. But I bleached the bathmat and the flowers did fare so well. And then it just got old. We had intended to remodel it completely this previous spring/summer but because we lost so much value in our house we couldn't take the money out to do it. We decided to make due with paint.

Now on to the redecorating. I found the hearts shower curtain at Target for a good price, and while it's not what I was originally intending it brought a little more brightness into the room (especially in January). Now I'm working on art for the walls. Really just one wall. The space above the toilet. I bought 5 Ribba frames at Ikea last week and am working on things to fill them with. I have paper taped to the wall so I can get an idea of how I want them arranged. I have three 6" square frames and two 9" square ones. So far I have one little piece finished.

Here it is. I cut out progressively smaller flowers with my cricut using glamma vellum paper.

Then I stacked them up, adhering them to each other with a pop dot. And then I added a little bling in the middle.

Now only 4 more frames to fill!

Love songs...

2010-02-07T23:12:00.002-06:00

What is your favorite? This was the subject of a post on Cathy Z's blog the other day. And incidentally she and I have the same favorite. And since it's Valentine's Day soon, I thought I'd share it with you.

And the lyrics to the song.

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I wasn't a Ben Folds fan until after I met Morgan. He has quite a varied taste in music and it includes Ben Folds. I love this song because it's simple and beautiful. Both in the lyrics and the musical composition. If you aren't familiar with his music I would highly recommend checking him out. And as I mentioned he did the music for Over the Hedge. Which we watched again today!

One word...

2010-02-07T21:56:00.002-06:00

I stole this from Rachel's blog.

Your Cell Phone? Pink

Your Hair? Red

Your Mother? Strong

Your Father? Gone

Your Favorite Food? Sugared

Your Dream Last Night? Weird

Your Favorite Drink? DC

Your Dream/Goal? Artist

What Room Are You In? Study

Your Hobby? Creative

Your Fear? Death

Where Do You See Yourself In 6 Years? Older

Where Were You Last Night? Home

Something That You Aren't? Tall

Muffins? Bran

Wish List Item? Technology

Where Did You Grow Up? Minnesota

Last Thing You Did? Read

What Are You Wearing? Clothes

Your TV? Tube

Your Pets? Dog

Friends? Good

Your Life? Busy

Your Mood? Fine

Missing Someone? Yes

Vehicle? Betty

Something You Aren't Wearing? Earrings

Your Favorite Store? Target

Your Favorite Color? Green

When Was The Last Time You Laughed? Tonight

Last Time You Cried? Friday

Your Best Friend? Morgan

One Place You Go To Over And Over Again? Bathroom

Facebook? Yes

Favorite Place To Eat? Table

Let me know if you play with us!!

Obsessions...

2010-02-03T07:49:00.003-06:00

Well, maybe when you are 3 1/2 doing something over and over isn't called an obsession. It's just repetition and comfort? And anyone who has or has had small children will understand this. Owen LOVES to watch movies over and over. For awhile he would watch the same one day after day after day. And other times he would mix them up. But one of his most favorites, and the one he's watching right now, is Over the Hedge.

I really couldn't tell you how many times he's seen this movie! It's quite a few. And I don't watch it every time he does but I've seen it a whole lot of times too! And as far as animated movies go, it's one of my favorites. Being a Dreamworks production means it is top notch. But being filled with the music of Ben Folds is a huge help! If you've not seen it, I would highly recommend it. Unless you are easily offended by humor about suburbia. Then don't.

Beautiful baby fingers & toes...

2010-01-31T23:00:00.005-06:00

Is there anything more beautiful than baby toes and fingers?? Okay, maybe all the beautiful squishy rolls of babiness (but I'm only posting fingers and toes today).

I had the pleasure of photographing one of our ECFE friend's new baby. She is a little darling. Here are some fingers and toes.

About love...

2010-01-29T13:19:00.002-06:00

"Love is the one treasure that multiplies by division. It is the one gift that grows bigger the more you take from it. It is the one business in which it pays to be an absolute spendthrift. You can give it away, throw it away, empty your pockets, shake the basket, turn the glass upside down, and tomorrow you will have more than ever. "

-Author Unknown

A surprise...

2010-01-27T09:10:00.002-06:00

This morning while checking my e-mail I had a message from Bonnie Rose letting me know that I was on The Fresh Reflection blog. So of course I stopped over there to see what was going on and up pops my picture! I was a little shocked and stunned because I have no idea how the picture got there or who sent it (since I'm the only one with the actual picture.) But I decided not to freak out because I like the blog (I found it one night blog hopping) and I like the idea behind it. And I like the picture. It was taken by my friend Lisa for my website. And to whoever sent it in, thank you, that was very kind of you.

A new project...

2010-01-22T13:06:00.003-06:00

I have been pondering a new project for 2010. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I haven't been pondering a specific idea but rather the idea to have a project for 2010. And I was at a loss. I don't like the pressure of 365 days of photos. Until today I haven't taken any pictures yet this year. Very uncharacteristic of me. I wasn't sure I wanted it to be photo, craft or both related. Or if it should include some goals. I have enough goals though. Eventually it just moved to the back room of my mind and I hadn't been giving it much thought at all lately.

However, today while we were baking chocolate chip cookies, and I was compelled to get out my camera and photograph my beautiful creation, it came to me!!

This year I'm going to amass a collection of images representing love. And now you may be wondering "hmm, what would that look like?". And that's just it. I don't know. Hence the idea. today it was the chocolate chip cookies. I love them. They turned out perfect. I loved the time Owen and I spent making them together. I love eating them. We put love into them while we were baking them.

Some people may disagree with me and say you can't love *things*. And I'm fine with that. Disagree all you want. I don't care. Love IS an expression. I get that. And I can see that. And hopefully I will photograph it. But love is also how you feel inside. When you eat that warm gooey chocolate chip cookie (that maybe someone who loves you made). When you slip your feet into your most comfortable pair of shoes (that you loved yourself enough to splurge on).

My point is, love really IS all around us. (Thank you Love Actually, I love you too!) And this year I want to make a point of capturing it and documenting it and showing it to others. Our world needs more images of love. It's rather intangible at times and I think if people can see it then maybe they can feel it more.

For today, here are the cookies. LOVE THEM!

Random...

2010-01-21T17:40:00.002-06:00

So it would seem that over the last six or more months I've been neglecting my blog. People stop by but no one is home. (As evidenced by my lack of posts!) However, I am not really neglecting my blog, I just don't seem to have a lot to say. Or I say it in short bursts on FB. My BIL commented one day that his updates page is mostly updates from me. Maybe he'll figure out how to block me from his updates page and won't be inundated with my thoughts every time he signs on to FB!

My life isn't really all that interesting. Which means not much to write about. And then there's my notorious short attention span. When I think of something I want to write about it's frequently in the wee hours of the night/morning and I may narrate in my head but don't want to get out of bed and turn on the computer because if I do I most certainly will not fall asleep. And I know this because I used to do it and I didn't get back to sleep. Now that O isn't napping much anymore I can't do that. If I do I am worthless during the day. And that isn't a good thing with an energetic 3 1/2 year old terrorizing the house. Which brings me to another distraction from blog writing. Owen won't let me be at the computer for very long without climbing into my lap and wanting to see something or type too. He loves to type messages to people. Of course I need to start the message so that people know what's going on when they get it. And he loves getting the messages back from people!!

More and more I find myself wanting to write about things that are a little on the sad or depressing side too. Long winded posts about Nikki and how much I miss her. Soap box posts about insurance (health, home and auto) and how I hate it. The solitary nature of being a SAHM of an only in the winter. The ebb and flow of my creativity. (It's currently more on the ebb side, in case you were wondering.)

BUT I don't like that I am not writing here. I like to share andI like to read what other people are writing about.

So for today, a little glimpse at somethings I'm missing and that I'm grateful for.

Right now I miss:

Nikki. Life isn't the same without her. And it won't be. And I have a hard time with that. And so do a lot of other people. The saying, "finding a new normal" is so true.
Having grandparents. We had lunch with our school friends today and one of the kids great-grandma was there. It was so fun to have her with us. And I realized how much I miss my own grandparents and the older women I had gotten to know at our previous church.
Warm weather. We had rain today. Yes, rain in MN in January when it was 30˚. I don't know how that happens but it did. And it was yucky! The snow is dirty. My car is filthy! And the sky is gray, gray, gray! The only good part has been the ice skating.
A good nights sleep!

Right now I'm grateful for:

My friends. I am blessed to have some really great mom friends to spend time with. Who also share my hobbies and interests. And great non-mom friends too. That remind me that I am more than a mom. I am still Heather.
A good husband. Sometimes it seems like a good man is rare. So I'm glad to have one.
Owen. I am really enjoying his 3 1/2 ness. He is so curious about so many things. And he's so fun and silly. And says some really goofy silly things. Yesterday he was sitting on the floor in the kitchen talking (to me or just himself I'm not sure) and he said, "when I throw up on the floor, I go to the doctor and have a check-up. Then I go home and sleep." I think this came out of him remembering when Ludwig threw up one day. And incidentally we don't take him to the doctor when he throws up. Because when he throws up it's because he's worked himself into a tizzy and just throws up.
My home and all the other creature comforts we have that so many people don't have. There are lots of *things* I think I'd like to have but in the grand scheme of life, we really have all we need.

Happy New Year!!!

2010-01-01T12:20:00.002-06:00

We had a rather uneventful New Year's Eve. We had a nice dinner of Runza's imported from Nebraska (I KNOW that's not the correct use of the term import) courtesy of my BIL. We played one of Owen's new games (Cariboo) and then it was bedtime for O. We crashed shortly thereafter.

Today I sorted through, archived, and deleted photos from the computer and now have a blank iPhoto program to start the new year with. I love that. Owen and I baked brownies in The Perfect Brownie pan that we got for Christmas. I'm planning to tidy up my craft room since it is a disaster area from creating and wrapping during the holiday season.

Every January I am over come with the urge to purge, clean and reorganize all areas of our home. This year I think I am going to make a list and tackle it a little bit at a time week by week. It may take an entire day for me to tackle the mail basket and file cabinet. More than anything I abhor paper clutter. Newspapers, magazines, mail, recipe print-outs, receipts. I'm fairly good at organizing things and keeping track of stuff but the paper things just seem to get out of control. Insurance papers and investment statements and all that stuff that needs to be filed. I cram it into a basket planning to do something with it later and then the basket gets too full! So that is on my t0-do list for January. Our file cabinet needs a good purging too.

I've also been busy purging old toys and clothes. Owen's closet is full to the brim with all his clothes from the last 3 1/2 years. I either need to find a new system/place to put them OR they need to go.

I'm trying to subscribe to the motto that we don't have anything in the house that isn't purposeful or beautiful. Which can be hard to do!

And now I'm off the do more cleaning, purging, and sorting! Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T09:58:00.003-06:00

Six days until Christmas...

2009-12-19T14:48:00.003-06:00

5 until Christmas Eve. Owen is beyond excited! But he is very patient too. Probably because he's been waiting so long that he's just forgotten about asking about it. He began asking questions after Thanksgiving when the neighbors started putting holiday lights in their yards. He wanted to know why, "we don't have any Christmas". We don't put lights in the yard so he thought we weren't having Christmas.

Morgan likes to take the decorating slowly so we didn't put the tree up until last weekend. I had started with other decorations the previous couple of weeks though. It would be easier for me to do it myself but we keep all the decorations in the attic and that is not a place that is easily accessible for me!

Here is our tree after getting ornaments on Monday night.

And one of my favorite glass ornaments. We are mostly finished with our gift shopping. Just a thing or two left. Morgan made two loaves of Stollen today and they are baking in the oven right now. I have some baking to do also but probably won't start on that until Morgan gets the kitchen back in order from the Stollen!

I was wrapping gifts today and Owen was working in my craft room with me. He loves to "work" in there. Which mostly means cutting up paper or using my punches. Today I got out my old fiskars trimmer for him to use. He was having a grand time cutting paper. Then he made a present for my friend Maggie. More cutting of paper and lots of tape.

Morgan is on vacation until after Christmas. Should be interesting having him around the house during the day. We haven't been home together like this since before we bought the house. When he takes vacation we usually go somewhere. But he has a lot of time to use up or he would lose it. Should be interesting!